writing Archives

Writing my first blog post – my recollections

June 20, 2019

Do you remember the feeling you had writing your first blog post? I do. It’s such a strong memory still even though it is now just over nine years since I first pushed ‘publish’ on WordPress. If you are thinking of starting a blog, you might wonder how it feels to put out that first post.

When I went to Kerstin Pilz’s writing and yoga retreat in Hoi An, Vietnam last September, we worked on a writing prompt on ‘firsts’. We wrote a list of firsts and then chose one to write about. I chose ‘My first blog post’. As often happens with writing of this type, I stepped straight back into that time as if I was there. All the feelings and memories flooded back as if I was in the moment.

So here is my piece from that session. I’d love to hear what it brings up for you! And if you’d like help with your blog or other writing, see below too for ways I can help you.

My first blog post

It had been a long time coming, setting the framework for placing my voice into the world. Danielle LaPorte calls it her “digital temple“. That captures the sacred creative feeling that the word “blog” misses. It’s a space, digital and precious, all at once. I adorn it, I shape it, I frame it. I create the scaffold, the name, the brand.

I call my first blog ‘Transcending’ because that’s what brought me here. The turiyamani moments from my yoga teacher coming forward to crystallise in real life. The name he gave me meaning “transcendental jewel“. I’m learning to sparkle like a jewel, transcending from the deepest grief. I’ve cried miles through the national park as I’ve driven alone time after time. I’ve found all the drafts of every poem I’ve ever written over more than thirty years and put them into draft order, alphabetical order. Structuring my creativity as a way of finding some sort of order to make a new life in the wake of tragedy.

I’ve learnt how to make a website, a blog, create a cathedral for my feelings and thoughts, a sacred container I can hold and use as a way to share emotions and writing. I’m not a person who is used to this. I write behind closed doors. I still find the idea of a writer something that I can’t entirely understand. Rarefied.

So I listen to others, follow their path, learn how to be vulnerable like them online in the wide open world. I see that them going first helps me to see what is possible. Ink on My Fingers is one blog title. Attracted to it, I learn how to also be more daring with my ink reaching the outside world.

I’m ready. That day feels like a threshold, stepping into something so wide open My voice, suddenly reaching out beyond the room, beyond the page, beyond paper and pen to I don’t know where.

I announce myself like a bride, carrying myself through the door of my creativity with some kind of virginal white all around me. It’s all about what I intend to do, what I stand for, how I am writing to transcend, living transcending and I feel like I’m howling into the wind.

All those words crafted slowly and with such care hurled into space, published with the press of a moment. And I’m howling like a wolf, loud and quiet all at the same time, wondering what I’ve done. It’s all intent. All vulnerable. But I know it’s the right thing to do.

I sit and wait for a response as if someone reading might save me. Hands folded as if in prayer, intent on arriving into the next phase of my life, transcending through writing this first blog post, this first initiation into the sacred temple of my creative life.

There’s a morning-after feeling, all that pent up thought out there. I could take it back but I don’t want to. It’s somehow delicious, like a coming together, and I follow the tracks of arriving there into the distance looking out.

Thought pieces

You might like to read my first blog post and another early one where I write about feeling like I’m howling into the wind!

My first blog post – published 2 May 2010

The value of howling like the wind – published 23 May 2010

They are from my first blog Transcending which I have kept intact inside Quiet Writing for now. I love seeing the progress over time. That’s what my early blogging felt like to me – you might relate!

Love to hear what blogging felt like to you when you started or what it feels like to you now. Or what you’d like to achieve by starting a blog.

Support for blogging, writing and creativity

And if you’d like some creative support with blogging and writing, I’m here to help. Pop over to my Work With Me page. A free 30-minute Discovery Call is often a great place to start. You can book a call here. I have worked with many clients around blogging, writing and other creative endeavours and I’d love to help you with your vision and the practical steps to achieve it.

Creativity and writing can be lonely so you could also join in the Sacred Creative Collective focused on creativity, writing, blogging and community support.

So sign up to Quiet Writing to keep in touch and you will also receive your free Reading Wisdom Guide for inspiration. Keep in touch via social media too. More on this below.

Keep in touch + free Reading Wisdom Guide

You might also enjoy my free ‘Reading Wisdom Guide for Creatives, Coaches and Writers‘ with a summary of 45 wholehearted books to inspire your own journey. Just pop your email address in the box below.

You will receive access to the Wholehearted Library which includes the Reading Wisdom Guide and so much more! Plus you’ll receive monthly Beach Notes with updates and inspiring resources from Quiet Writing. This includes writing, personality type, coaching, creativity, tarot, productivity and ways to express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook Instagram and Twitter so keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. Look forward to connecting with you and inspiring your wholehearted story!

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Learning to live on the slow path and love the little things that light me up

June 10, 2019

This guest post from Kamsin Kaneko looks at learning to live on the slow path and shifting focus to creativity and the little things in shaping a wholehearted life.

This is the 19th guest post in our Wholehearted Stories series on Quiet Writing! I invited readers to consider submitting a guest post on their wholehearted story. You can read more here – and I’m still keen for more contributors!

Quiet Writing celebrates self-leadership in wholehearted living and writing, career and creativity. This community of voices, each of us telling our own story of what wholehearted living means, is a valuable and central part of this space. In this way, we can all feel connected on our various journeys and not feel so alone. Whilst there will always be unique differences, there are commonalities that we can all learn from and share to support each other.

I’m delighted to have Kamsin Kaneko as a ‘Wholehearted Stories’ contributor. Kamsin and I met via Instagram and shared interests in creativity, writing and gentle business. In this story, Kamsin shares how her focus has shifted to living in a slower, more focused, creative and wholehearted way in a different cultural environment. Read on!

Living life in the ordinary everyday moments

“Let’s eat out on the balcony,” my husband suggests. We are in the wine section of our local supermarket. It is a warm Sunday afternoon, and we’ve come to buy ingredients to cook dinner as a family.

“Sure. Sounds like a good idea,” I reply. One reason we bought our apartment was the spacious balcony. But we rarely sit out there to eat or use it for anything other than hanging washing out to dry.

This small act of cooking together and eating at home is one of the many small lifestyle changes we’ve been making. We’ve always wanted to do things like this, especially since we have a little boy who just turned five. But we haven’t always made the space in our lives.

We had got into the habit of going to the local sushi place on Sunday evening, which isn’t nearly as glamorous as it sounds in the context of urban Japan. You can wait 45+ minutes to be seated, it’s a popular family choice at the weekend. It’s cheap and easy, even if the quality of the food isn’t the best.

Nothing is better than a home cooked meal

We are home from the supermarket. There’s homemade pizza cooking in the oven, and the wine has been poured. We decide to move the dining table outside. As we’re doing so, our neighbour is taking in her washing. She laughs when she sees us.

The sun is starting to set over the trees and mountains behind our balcony and beyond; the light is perfect, and it is pleasantly warm. The inflatable paddling pool my boy was playing in earlier is still full of water. Alfresco dining by the pool, I quip.

A short while later and the food is on the table. My little boy closes his eyes, puts his hands together, and declares “Itadakimasu” (I gratefully receive this food), with energy and enthusiasm. My husband lifts his wine glass and smiles.

“I’m so happy,” he says.

Shifting focus

If I focus my attention on the thick, ugly pillars that support the balconies, I remember this is still in urban Japan. Power cables criss-cross the sky everywhere you look, and people crowd around us on every side. I grew up in the countryside, at times I miss the wide-open spaces which are so hard to come by in Japan.

So, I focus instead on the food, the table, my family. With my attention focused on the things I love, we are nowhere but right here and right now. Exactly where we want to be. We have created space in our day, and in our lives, to enjoy the little things which had felt so distant in our busy urban lives just a year or so earlier.

Until recently, I felt like I was always making compromises. I didn’t want sushi or a “family restaurant” every week. It meant being stuck in traffic, having to wait to be seated, and a noisy eating environment and unexciting food choices. It wasn’t lighting me up inside.

Our eating choices weren’t the only area we were making compromises. But food is so fundamental to a well-lived life as a family. So why had we been living like that? And how did we get from there to here?

Looking for the answers right here not over there

I grew up attending church and evangelical Christian groups. I no longer believe the fundamental doctrines that they taught me. But I experienced something of the divine, and I wanted more.

I can remember singing songs about loving God with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind. But I felt that there were parts of my heart that were locked away and I didn’t have the key. How could I love God with my whole heart if I didn’t know how to access what was inside?

Over the years, my understanding of faith crumbled and evolved. I am less concerned with trying to name or understand what those early spiritual experiences were. At the current stage of my life, I am more interested in learning to trust and believe in the divine within myself.

Gratitude and moving on

I remain grateful for the community and the guidance and the love of people in those groups. But I no longer believe that God can only be encountered through a specific understanding of Christianity.

Perhaps I thought that I would find God somewhere “over there” in the setting of religious groups and Sunday services. But God was never there. S/he was always here in the space between our intertwined lives. We had to learn to slow down before I could even see that.

I stayed a part of the church even though it had long since stopped meeting my spiritual or emotional needs. We stopped going about a year ago because my heart was longing for more space and more slow simple Sundays. And my husband wasn’t feeling the same connection to the church anymore.

Learning to listen to the longings of my own heart

In the last four years, I have been learning to listen more carefully to the whispers of my heart and act on what I hear. I’d got out of practice in doing that somehow. Through writing, journaling and mindfulness meditation, I started to find an answer to the question of how to access the locked places in my heart.

I was no longer going to give my time to anything which didn’t help my heart to keep expanding. I had wanted to spend more time with my husband and young son. I wanted the rhythm of Sunday as a day of rest.

The irony that by attending church, I wasn’t getting this wasn’t lost on me. But I thought because we lived in Japan, I would never have the slow Sundays I remembered from my childhood in England. Besides, times have changed, maybe no one lives like that anymore.

But we were living on autopilot rather than making conscious choices about how to spend our time. Now we often spend Sundays in our neighbourhood playing outside without any particular plans. We cook a homemade meal together and our little family has never been closer or happier.

Our slow and simple Sundays are one example of the ways that listening to what I want and need has led me into a more wholehearted life. Slowing down and believing that the longings of my heart can be achieved if I approach them with an open mind wasn’t as easy as it sounds.

Learning to believe in the possibility of a wholehearted life

The first step was learning to notice the places in my life where my behaviour did not align with the things I said I wanted. I had to learn to do that with self-compassion and let go of any judgment.

I was tied up in a long list of “shoulds” and “ought to’s” all of which caused my heart to be locked up tighter than ever before. But I started to believe that I had choices about how I spent my time. I could say no to what I didn’t want and yes to what I did.

I had to find processes to gently allow me to listen and believe I could act on what I heard. Journaling and meditation and carefully chosen books, podcasts, and safe spaces online are showing me how to do that.

I had spent too long allowing other voices to drown out the voice of my own heart. It takes time to learn to tune in and act on what you hear.

How writing and early motherhood changed everything

When I was in my early twenties, there were three things I wanted to achieve in my life. One was to travel and live abroad. I’ve lived in China, Japan, Bosnia, and then Japan again. When I married a Japanese man, Japan became my home.

The second was to become a mother. I’d given up on this idea for a long time, but it happened five years ago when I was thirty-eight. It wasn’t an easy process through miscarriage, medical error, and 2.5 years of trying to get pregnant. But my son is the most delightful little person on the planet.

The third was to be a writer. And it was that final goal which has proved to be the hardest. I took my first writing class as an undergraduate back in the mid-’90s and others on and off over the following twenty years. But it was only after my son was born that I began to unpick the places in my heart which had been standing in my way.

Motherhood in Japan was the key to unlocking my heart

As a new mother in Japan, I was stressed out and struggling so far from home. I felt like I was drowning in cultural norms and expectations, which I was never going to live up to. But I wasn’t about to settle for a slow descent into bitterness and resentment, which seemed to be where I was heading. I wanted to enjoy my little boy and life as a mother. But I needed help.

I began to meditate through the Headspace App. And when someone gave away their copy of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way I began to keep a journal. Something I hadn’t done consistently for years.

Through these two activities, I found the key to access the locked up places in my heart. I’d felt that wholehearted wasn’t something I would ever achieve all those years ago singing about loving God with all my heart. But over time, all the things which had been leaving me feeling overwhelmed, including unhealed trauma from childhood started to feel more manageable.

Writing is leading to radical transformation: that’s why it’s so hard

The more I wrote, the more I understood that I’d neglected the craft of being a writer and I had a lot to learn. Through online writing classes and working with tutors and writing coaches, I started to understand how to create a scene and a character.

I had a background in academic writing. But to tap into my neglected creativity, I had to bring my writing into the world of sensory detail. I had to connect the emotions and the details that ground a story and bring it alive to a reader.

And that is that process of getting out of my head and into the sensory details of everyday life that is allowing me to unlock my heart. In powerful writing, it is often the little details which bring the most magic to the page. The same is true in our everyday lives.

Writing through the dark to find the light

But I didn’t want to feel the painful things. I tried to go straight to being grateful and finding positive affirmations to help me overcome writers’ block and self-sabotaging habits. I didn’t want to feel the painful things that had been locked up inside of me. But the only way out was to go through.

Thank God the Universe provided me with gifted teachers in the process. This time last year I took an online writing course by Martha Beck; there were guest lectures from Elizabeth Gilbert, one of my favourite writers, and it was completely transformative. Hard work and painful but amazing.

The course comprised the most incredible set of lectures which blew everything I thought I knew out of the water. The writing exercises were designed to take you into the hell of your worst moments and keep writing until you brought everything out into the light.

As I wrote, I kept finding feelings of being unworthy, and crippling fears of never being good enough. A numbing fear that if I spoke my truth, I would be judged, criticised, and rejected. I was so good at avoiding those feelings I’d been unaware of how much they were driving self-sabotaging behaviours like procrastination and perfectionism.

I could only learn to be wholehearted by looking at those feelings of shaky self-worth in the eye. And writing through them to find the validation I need within myself. Perhaps I will never believe that I am good enough to be a “real writer.”

But I have learnt to trust the voice inside of me that says I need to write. And if all I ever achieve is to heal the fractured places in my own heart, it will be enough. I pray also that I can gift my readers a tiny bit of courage to continue on their own wholehearted journey.

Key book companions along the way

The Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron

Big Magic – Elizabeth Gilbert

Martha Beck – Finding Your Way in a Wild New World

Loving What Is – Byron Katie

And the poetry of Mary Oliver

About Kamsin Kaneko

Kamsin Kaneko is a writer, mum, teacher, and traveller, not necessarily in that order. She writes about living a wholehearted life of depth and meaning. You can find her on Instagram most days capturing small moments of beauty in the urban sprawl of her home in Japan. Get your free gift: I Believe in the Magic of Everyday Moments. Kamsin Kaneko’s website The Slow Path can be found here.

Photographs #1, #2, #3 + bio image by Kamsin Kaneko, used with permission and thanks.

Photograph #4 of pen on page by Debby Hudson on Unsplash used with permission and thanks.

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Dancing all the way – or listening to our little voice as a guide for wholehearted living

February 11, 2019

This guest post from Olivia Sprinkel is a letter in response to Heidi Washburn’s wholehearted story: When the inner voice calls, and calls again.

I am so excited by Olivia’s response and the dance between ideas and readers she invites!

I welcome any other letter style responses to wholehearted stories here on Quiet Writing any time. You can find out more about wholehearted stories guest-posting here. The links for all the stories are at the end of this post. How wonderful that we can share our stories of wholehearted living and what it means. And respond to the experiences of others as we shape our own journey. It truly warms my heart!

Enjoy this beautiful dance of ideas and how Olivia responds to Heidi’s wholehearted story!

Dear Heidi,

I read your article ‘When the inner voice calls, and calls again – my journey to wholehearted living’. I immediately wanted to respond and say ‘thank you for writing’ – and also to share my own reflections in response. I am now that woman in my mid-forties in New York that you were 30 years ago, listening to the call of my inner voice to give up my corporate job and to live life with my whole heart. It was so reassuring to read your story, and know that you had the courage to listen to that voice and to create a wholehearted life for yourself. It provided confirmation that a different way of living than the conventional one that is presented to us is possible, if we choose to follow that path.

The best piece of advice my father gave me

Writing this now, I remember that my father always used to say “Listen to your little voice”. It was probably the best piece of advice he gave me. He used to tell the story of how he had enrolled in Berkeley, as that is where his father and mother had both gone. But when he got there, his little voice told him, ‘You want to go to Stanford’. And he went and knocked on the door of the Stanford admissions officer, and ended up graduating from Stanford.

You write of how your little voice spoke to you so clearly and powerfully. It can only speak clearly if we are tuned into the hearing of it – you were ready to hear it. I’ve had a couple of other occasions when my little voice has spoken to me and my ears and body have been open for the hearing of it. There have been other occasions when undoubtedly it has spoken to me, but I have blocked it out because I didn’t want to hear – and things haven’t turned out too well.

Taking responsibility for listening to the little voice

I didn’t feel as if I had any choice but to listen to the little voice that spoke to me to send me on this particular journey. When this voice spoke it was giving me the gift of a creative idea or a creative mission. It spoke to me and said ‘Write a book “A history of the future of the world in 12 trees”. Or 10.’ (It was giving me a little bit of wiggle room.) And why did I choose to act on this, to give up my job, my New York apartment, to pursue this journey? I think it was a combination of the clarity of the idea, and the clarity of my listening. I felt that I had been gifted this idea and it was my responsibility to act on it. Not to do so would be irresponsible – both to the idea and to myself. And I am in the position to do so, with no responsibilities of family to take care of.

And writing this now, I wonder, ‘who is behind that little voice?’ As writers, we often speak about ‘finding our authentic voice’. Is our little voice that authentic piece of us that we can hear when we are tuned to the right channel, when we have done that preparatory work, that opening? I’ve had my little voice speak to me – and I’ve listened – in yoga and when I am out in nature. That morning when the idea for my tree journey appeared, I was sitting at my desk, but I had spent the weekend immersed in the beautiful woods of the Catskills at Menla.

Elizabeth Gilbert has written of how ideas are gifted to us, and if we don’t declare an interest in them, they will move on to someone else. She writes in ‘Big Magic’ of how an idea she didn’t pursue then moved on to Ann Patchett, who did act on it, and wrote a book based on the idea. This suggests that there is something larger than us that is seeking to communicate with us – and which knows us well enough to make only appropriate suggestions. I am sure whole philosophy books have been written on the subject, and someone more well informed than me can answer that question. But perhaps that is the authenticity of wholehearted living – that we are open to receiving information from the ‘whole’, rather than from a limited subset of ourselves.

Stepping into the dance

It also reminds me of a dance. That when we open ourselves to the dance of life, then we can dance in step with the universe and be open to being led by her, and be twirled and occasionally flipped head over heels and still land gracefully. I’m reminded of the dancing metaphor as I used to have a blog in the form of letters that a friend and I would write back and forth to one another, pondering life’s questions. The title of the blog was ‘Dancing All the Way’, which we decided on as we doing a multi-day walk and we wanted to dance all the way of the walk. And then Terri’s theme for the year is ‘Dance’ – so perhaps this is just a small example of how the universe wants to dance with us.

Seeing your life story as a Hero’s Journey

It’s not an easy thing to follow your little voice, as you know. You write movingly with the example of your accountant of how we are not always ready to do that. I believe that the call to a wholehearted life really is a Hero’s Journey, as Joseph Campbell has described, and which is the foundation of great myths as well as our ordinary extraordinary lives. There is the call to action, and we can choose to act on it or not. And if we do choose to accept, there will be setbacks, there will be temptations to distract us along the way, we will need to overcome challenges. But if we persevere, we will come back with a gift to offer our community. Thinking about my own story in this way helps to give me perspective. It is also reassuring for me to know that this journey will be repeated many times on different timescales, as well as providing an overarching arc for our lives, if we are fortunate enough to live into an old age and be able to look back over the distance that we have travelled.

I am at the beginning of this next stage of my journey, heading out into the unknown. All I have is an idea, and a rough itinerary. And, hopefully, my little voice to continue to guide me and ears and heart to listen.

I wish you well as your journey continues.

With love

Olivia

About Olivia Sprinkel

Olivia Sprinkel is a sustainability strategy and communications consultant, writer and photographer. She has advised some of the world’s largest companies on sustainability strategy, and been based in both London and New York. She is also a writer of poetry and creative non-fiction, and a keen photographer. She is now embarking on writing a book which brings together her sustainability expertise and creative skills to tell stories of a changing climate and nature connection. You can connect with Oliva via Instagram and her website.

Photographs by Olivia Sprinkel and used with permission and thanks.

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When the inner voice calls, and calls again – my journey to wholehearted living

December 18, 2018

This guest post from Heidi Washburn explores the call to respond to the inner voice over time as a path to the deepest of wholehearted journeys.

This is the 14th guest post in our Wholehearted Stories series on Quiet Writing! I invited readers to consider submitting a guest post on their wholehearted story. You can read more here – and I’m still keen for more contributors!

I am honoured to have my friend Heidi Washburn as a ‘Wholehearted Stories’ contributor. Heidi and I met in Hoi An, Vietnam at Kerstin Pilz’s writing and yoga retreat in September, 2018 and enjoyed a time of deep connection during that week. I invited Heidi to tell her wholehearted story here. Heidi reflects on a moment of career shift in her life when everything changed. She shares how the inner voice often calls again and again and listening to it is a practice that evolves through our lives. Read Heidi’s reflections on her journey of responding to calls from her inner voice in deeper ways, a journey that continues!

Sometimes life changes suddenly: discovering a secret, a hurricane, a birth or a death. Sometimes the change is more subtle, more gradual and instigated by internal signals. Those signals may manifest differently for each of us. The question is when and how do we listen? How do we respond? What challenges do we face once we admit a change is coming? What happens if we ignore the call?

Many times in my life I have pushed past my inner knowing, trying to fit into the accepted norm, frustrated that the norm didn’t feel right or I couldn’t seem to do it right. As hard as I tried I could not happily push past my instincts and join the crowd. It is only when I listen and respond that the whole of me is present and engaged. It is it something that I cannot always do on my own. This ride in wholehearted living requires a lot of support, a lot of losing and regaining momentum.

My life is an evolving ever-changing journey. This is about my major career shift in my mid-forties followed by recent reflections on a lifetime of learning to listen, respond and deepen.

Setting the scene

Let’s get some perspective. In the 80’s there was minimal internet. There were no smartphones, no blogs, no easily available GPS, no online support groups and we were just out of an era when corporations took care of their employees, often for life. Leaving a successful, lucrative career was an unusual move generating a lot of opinions and, dare I say, envy.

Let’s set the scene for the moment everything changed. One rainy fall night, I was driving home to Saugerties, New York from a late meeting in New Jersey, a good two and a half hours’ drive. Visibility was sparse and I had to strain to find my way out of the corporate complex in the dark, while squinting at the map on my lap. My eyes were heavy, it was a long day and I just wanted to get home.

I was ten years into my market research consulting business, I had back-up staff and my work was in demand. Hard work, constant traveling and late nights had paid off. Yet something was not right. I was losing touch with my family and friends because I was always out of town. The only love life I could fit in was an on-demand friend with benefits. I was having dizzy spells and anxiety attacks. My teenage daughter was home alone too many nights and I wasn’t on top of her struggles in life. My friends were making noises about an intervention for my “workaholic” problem.

What problem? I loved doing in-depth interviews, consolidating them into a meaningful story for my clients and giving advice in the boardroom. I found a way to be listened to in my profession if not in my personal life. My introverted self found a way to be out front as long as I had a role to play. The operative word here is ‘role’. More and more, it felt like a role that was not me. I was trying to stay in a shell that no longer fit or serviced me. At the same time, something deeper was emerging, but I was flying too high to notice.

The voice and the moment everything changed

Back to the rainy fall night. As I said, I just wanted to get home to my bed. As I pulled onto the familiar Garden State Parkway, the rain let up and I relaxed. Before I could turn on the radio for entertainment a voice in my head came on instead. A quiet, gentle but firm voice, not just a thought.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

What?

“I said! I don’t want to do this anymore.”

What do you mean? You have to. You just got the business where you want it. You have staff, an office and now you can do the more creative work. Isn’t that what you wanted?

That was the end of the conversation. Or so I thought.

After that night, after that very moment, everything changed but so quietly and slowly I hardly noticed. Of course, I was the one making the decisions. However, I didn’t know where I was going or what the path was. Deep change doesn’t come with a check-list or a schedule. And there is no guarantee that things will work out for the best.

Shifting to deeper awareness and action

First, I became aware that I pushed through the day without eating even though I constantly yearned for food. Why wasn’t I feeding myself? I went to a nutritionist weekly for three months to get better eating habits and basically learn to nurture myself.

I began bringing more and more things from my New York City apartment and office to my ‘weekend’ house in Saugerties. By the time I set up an office in the Saugerties basement, my NYC assistant asked: “Are you ever coming back?” And she got another job. She knew what was coming before I did.

I submerged myself in therapy and enrolled in singing lessons to open up my voice.

I wanted a more meaningful life and figured I should be able to find it in a couple of months. I was used to getting things under control.

Getting to know that inner voice

I had skills I enjoyed and that contributed to my success: creating a safe space for people to express themselves, drawing people out, deep listening, analyzing overall trends, presenting my ideas and writing. Maybe I would be a psychotherapist? I applied to two graduate schools in California, but before I heard from them my inner knowing led me another way. I started training in wholistic counseling, yoga and healthy lifestyle. I spent months at Kripalu, a yoga and meditation center. In between I still took on consulting projects to sustain my searching.

The inner voice grew stronger the more space and time I gave it. After chanting three days straight during a Kripalu one-month retreat, I sent out a prayer from a song by Linda Wooster: “Take these hands and turn them into light beams.” I still didn’t realize quite where I was going and how meaningful that prayer would be.

Finding my path as a somatic practitioner

I am a kinesthetic person. Formal psychology is too mental and structured for me. So, I went to massage school. Out of massage school I searched for a mind-body approach that worked for me. I was still taking occasional consulting jobs.

The months of transition turned into two years, reading, searching, training, experimenting, meditating, getting help from therapists, poking the fire for hours.

One day a massage therapist touched my head and moved my neck ever so slightly just for a couple of minutes. My whole body deeply let go. I felt safe, heard and known through her touch.

“What was that?!” I murmured through my bliss.

She told me it was Craniosacral Therapy. I wanted to do that work. I just knew it.

From there I began training in Craniosacral Therapy, a way to work with mind-body-emotions-spirit. I found my home but not yet a career. It took a couple of years before I had the confidence to practice. And to totally leave my business.

Meanwhile, I needed to live a simpler life and reduce expenses. I was happier, but much less affluent.

Clearing the way to live fully

On a sunny day in August, my beautiful Saugerties house was sold and I was moving one town over to a small two-bedroom rental in Woodstock, taking my cat and my new life with me. My old house was ready for its new owners, except for the bright red landline kitchen phone. Just as I was about to walk out the open front door for the last time, final items under my arm, the phone’s shrill ring echoed throughout the empty house. Even the answering service was disconnected, so I rushed back to answer it. An advertising company was calling me to see if I was available for a market research consulting job.

This will be a short call! Standing straight and with a clear voice I gave the answer for the first and last time.

“I don’t do that anymore.” That was it. I felt exhilarated.

I have been asked if I have ever regret leaving my consulting career. It was a good run and mostly I loved it. But I was learning that my sensitive system needed a gentler, more spacious environment. So, did I regret it? Not for a nanosecond. I have been asked, did I ever worry about making a living? Things get tight now and then and I do worry about a future when I can no longer work. The lifestyle I have chosen is short on long-term security. My practice goes up and down. I would like to create some kind of community living as I age, but as an introvert am not too skilled at groups. So, the future is uncertain. Yet, I would never change my decision. I chose to live fully instead of setting myself up for a less-than-wholehearted fate.

Reflections and new perspectives

I don’t really know what brings up that mysterious inner voice sending me one direction or another. Some people might call it guidance. All I know is that it is powerful when I listen. A year ago, I just knew I had to go to Vietnam, thinking it was about the war that impacted my generation and my life when my young husband went to fight. One step led to another and on a hot September day I arrived in Hoi An for Kerstin Pilz’s Write Your Journey Writing Retreat. At 75, I have reclaimed myself as a writer and reclaimed the story I need to tell. And another adventure begins.

My first draft of this piece included mention of my accountant for my consulting business. Stan would show up at my office and stare out the window as if he wanted to vaporize and pass though it.

“Oh,” he murmured, “how I would like to be a painter, but I have to work.”

Then, less than two years into our business relationship and in his mid-thirties, he had a heart attack and died. In my draft, I used this story to show how dangerous it is not to follow your heart, your dreams. But, I was being lofty, arrogant, and disrespectful to my accountant. It implied that we have control over our destiny if we just listen.

Meeting the unexpected with deeper insights

I put aside the first draft, let it sit for a while to see if it was really what I wanted to say. I thought a lot about listening to that inner voice. Asked friends how they knew when something is “right.” One looks for a sense of deepening and clarity, another a feeling in her gut and still another uses a pendulum. I learned that each person has their own unique way of listening. I thought I had the answer to controlling destiny. Tune into what is right for you and all will be revealed.

Then, I had a heart attack. It was mild as heart attacks go. It has a name: Takotsubo, also called Broken Heart Syndrome. Given my low blood pressure, lack of any artery blockage, perfect cholesterol, and lean body, the only explanation is stress. I meditate, eat a healthy diet, process emotions and enjoy my career as a craniosacral therapist. This shouldn’t happen to me. But it did.

My point is, who knows why my accountant had his heart attack. Or, maybe I didn’t have mine until I was 75 instead of 45 because at 45 I followed the calling to change my life. I am inspired to once again look deeply. How do I want to spend the remaining years? The inquiry is the path to aliveness. These days I am more and more excited about each day as I heal my broken heart.

What I have learned

I have learned:

that we can affect our quality of life in a big way, but not control it.
to embrace the precious qualities of being an empath and an introvert with creative talents and deep wisdom to share.
to step up my self-care, boundary setting and need for spaciousness to be present for the wonders and tragedies life throws my way.
to rest before I am exhausted.
to trust and be grateful for the amazing support system that comes to my aid when I am in trouble.
that I love to share through teaching and writing.
the sound of my inner voice when it calls.

And I am still learning.

Resources that have supported me

These are some resources that have supported me:

Hakomi: a Buddhist-centred wholistic counselling method

Psychosynthesis: a wholistic counselling method

Mindfulness/Insight meditation: Dharma.org has talks available for free

Upledger Institute: listings of craniosacral therapy practitioners around the world

Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy

Write Your Journey, Kerstin Pilz: upcoming meditation, yoga, writing retreat in Hoi An, Vietnam September 2019

Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health

The Empath’s Survival Guide, Judith Orloff

About Heidi Washburn

Heidi Washburn is a craniosacral and massage therapist, writer, practitioner of gentle yoga and insight meditation, friend, sister, aunt, great aunt, mother and cat lover. She specializes in working with other empaths and INFPs who do best in
a spacious, safe, gentle and mindful environment. Heidi has been practicing
bodywork for over 25 years with advanced clinical training and certification in Hakomi, Psychosynthesis, Upledger Craniosacral Therapy and Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy. More recently, Heidi has joyously immersed herself in the sacred art of writing. She is working on a memoir about secrets and how the truth liberates the unexpected. You can connect with Heidi via her website or email at washburn.heidi@gmail.com

Photograph attribution as follows and used with permission and thanks:

Images 1, 2, 3, 9 – Terri Connellan
Images 4, 5, 7 – Heidi Washburn
Image 6 – Pexels.com
Image 8 – Nigel Rowles
Bio portrait: Amber Roniger Photography

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coaching transition

Never too old – finding courage and skill to empower your dreams

November 19, 2018

Never too old + countering the “too old” story

It can be really easy to slip into thinking we are too old to start new things and step into the work of our dreams.

Whether it be writing that book you’ve always wanted to write, becoming a coach, being more visible on social media or getting back to exercise. We need to counter the “too old” story we can tell ourselves.

I’ve learnt that, apart from the most extreme circumstances, you are never too old to find the courage and skill to empower your dreams. I know because I’ve had to overcome many moments of feeling too old as I’ve worked on this journey to become a life coach, learn new skills, start a new business and write a book.

In this post, I share my experiences, resources and the stories of others to help you realise you are never too old to find the courage and skill to live your dreams.

Never too old to start over + become a coach

It’s a great honour to be featured in the inspired COACH Magazine with my piece Starting Over as a Life Coach at age 55. This tells my story of what it’s like to start over later in life as a life coach. I also provide some tips for others embarking on this or similar journeys. Having a beginner’s mind is one of the key messages I cover:

Retain a beginner’s mind, alongside your experience, to keep you grounded, humble, open and growing in wisdom.

My buddy coach, Jeanette Buchanan, is on the cover and I am so thrilled for her. We have been on this journey together as women in our mid 50’s supporting each other, constantly reminding ourselves that we are the perfect age for this journey. As we both share in different ways in our pieces, the myriad life and work experiences and skills we bring helps make us fantastic coaches. We can relate, we have often “been there” and we’ve built our skills along the way. Bringing our body of work to bear, and being positive and open, we are able to help others along the path of their dreams. Whether it’s becoming a life coach, writing a book or starting a business, we are living examples of how to live your change.

So read the Wisdom issue of inspired COACH Magazine. It’s a free subscription magazine available at this link. My friend Debbie Fowler is also there with a fabulous piece on The Wisdom of Older Coaches and Hosting Retreats. With pieces also by Melissa Jeffcott, Christine Rose Elle, Ellie Swift and Sas Petherick, it makes inspiring reading. But read on here too for my further thoughts on countering that “too old” thinking!

Never too old to be coached

You might also think you are too old to be coached. Gaining all that life wisdom and experience that getting older brings, there can be a tendency to think we don’t need support. Self-leadership is important and it’s an area I focus on in my coaching. But we can’t do it all ourselves. My learning is that life coaching is an integral support for making major change. Life transitions typically involve big changes in identity and coaching can help us navigate these tender times.

When I decided I needed to shift from my work role of 30 years, the very first thing I did, on day one, was reach out to my friend and coach Victoria Smith. Victoria coached me, via a coaching series over 3 months, through the very vulnerable first phases of this time. So yes, you feel vulnerable, you feel a bit foolish at times and you feel you should know how to do all this. But you also need to honour that it’s tough and deep work changing the way you’ve defined yourself for a long time.

Coaching is a critical bridge to tap into our inner wisdom at such times. We often can’t do it all ourselves, just as we discover at many challenging points in life. As I share in my story about life coaching and making meaning in times of transition, coaches have been critical supports on my journey. So don’t be proud. You can have a beginner’s mind and tons of experience. And together with coaching support, you can go a long way setting a robust and supportive framework for the long haul.

Never too old to learn new skills

Another mantra we can occasionally indulge in is that we are too old to learn new skills. I’m here to tell you from my experience of 30 plus years as an adult educator and life coach that you can learn new skills all through life. I’ve had to learn so many new skills along this journey: blogging, website and social media skills, how to set up a new business, writing a book, becoming a coach, Search Engine Optimisation. And I chose special skills as well such as the intuitive art of tarot and personality skills, becoming a Jung/Myers-Briggs personality practitioner.

Many of the women I’ve coached have embraced learning skills to set them up for a new life or extension of their current one. They’ve taken their body of work forward in new ways. As you can see on my testimonials page, women have taken up new courses like Masters in Creative Writing and coaching programs. They’ve tackled ‘imposter syndrome’ and developed intuitive skills, applied for higher level positions and set up foundations for new ways of working. They have also grappled with long-standing challenges like finding the right form of exercise and enjoying it! Others have explored social media and blogging and the right personal focus to be more active and productive. Gaining skills in each of these examples was a critical step in moving towards the vision for their life. Moreover, learning new skills is a fantastic way to keep your brain sharp and agile through-out life.

Never too old to start a business

Starting a new business or becoming an entrepreneur might seem like a job for the young too. But data provides some interesting findings about typical start-up founders:

For one thing, they were more likely to be in their late 30s and 38% of founders were actually over 40.

They also discovered that people who had stayed in a job for a long time were more likely to go on to start their own business.

There is encouragement for people like me who have had a 30 plus year career in one organisation or type of work:

Contrary to conventional wisdom, being ‘stuck’ in the same company or position for a long time, even a decade, does not diminish your likelihood of becoming a business founder,” says Ms Morrill.

Turns out the skills we have already developed in staying the course can also be applied to doing new things. Valuing your body of work over time as it evolves enables you to shape a new career or business. Learning new skills and bringing forward what you’ve already learnt as a basis for negotiating new circumstances is a winning combination.

Never too old to write a book

Writing is my passion and superpower, my authentic heart that makes me shine. So a long-held desire has been to write a book. I’ve had articles, work-related books and poems published. But I really want to write a book, non-fiction first then a novel. For years I’ve been gearing up, listening to podcasts and reading articles on writing and self-publishing from inspiring people a step (or many steps) ahead like The Creative Penn.

This past year, I was excited to get the first draft of my book Wholehearted: Self-leadership Strategies for Women in Transition written, mostly during NaNoWriMo. I finished the first draft in September this year. Those 84,000 words are currently marinating and resting. Soon, I will edit them for the next stage of this work before it finds its way into the world.

Examples of older writers and their first book

In all of this, there has been a constant undercurrent of “you’re too old” coming from some voice inside me with an ideal version of what age is the right one to write and publish a book. It’s been empowering to see reminders that many famous authors were not young when they first published. In What’s Stopping You, Allison K. Williams reflects on her tweet that went viral:

Toni Morrison: 40
Mark Twain: 41
Marcel Proust: 43
Henry Miller: 44
JRR Tolkien: 45
Raymond Chandler: 51
Richard Adams: 52
Annie Proulx: 57
Laura Ingalls Wilder: 65
Frank McCourt: 66
Harriett Doerr: 74
Harry Bernstein: 96
No, you’re not too old to publish your first book.

— Allison K Williams (@GuerillaMemoir) August 19, 2018

I love that one of my favourite authors, Annie Proulx, published her first book at 57, the age I am now. That was super inspiring to read. It’s not too late, I told myself. Allison also reflects on how we need to have courage and look at what is stopping us from writing:

Let’s tell it to ourselves, too. Let’s ask, What’s stopping me from writing? and be brave enough to let go.

It’s true. We need courage to let go of what’s not helping us to get that writing done. Whatever age we are!

Courage, skills and being of service

Beautiful You Coaching Academy CEO Julie Parker says in her editorial to the inspired COACH Magazine Wisdom issue:

I also know that anyone who chooses to train to become a life coach and start a business later in life – has bucket loads of courage…. That’s saying–”I totally back myself. I’ve got this and so much more of my life to live and give. I am here in service.”

I so nodded and held my heart when I read those wise and empathetic words from Julie. It does take courage, new skills and constant self-reminders that we have so much to “live and give“. We also need to remember that’s it’s not all just about us.

If there’s one thought that will help lift us up to a wider vantage point, it is remembering that we are of value in being in service to others. It’s about sharing what we have learnt through experience, supporting others just as we have been supported. Shining a light just as others shine a light for us. Being a wayfinder as my friend Diana Frajman, of Crone Confidence, reminds us:

So if you have already made the shift and are out ahead of the herd, blazing new trails leading towards this change, then you are a Wayfinder. It is not enough to stand on the cusp alone. Use the curiosity that got you to this spot, provide the answers to others for the questions you have already asked, but most of all, clear the trail and light the path so that others can also find their way forward.

What are you never too old to do right now?

So have a think about what you might be telling yourself about being “too old”. Love to know your thoughts so we can all shine a light for each other. Here are a few prompts:

What stories are you telling yourself about what you are “too old” to do right now?
Who says? And how are you going to counter that?
What are you going to find the courage and skill to do right now?
What’s stopping you and how can you tackle that?
Which skills would you love to hone to take you forward?
How can you be more courageous and bold in your work in the world?
Where can you shine a light and be of service to others?

And if you are looking for a coach to work with you to light the way, I’d love to be that coach for you!

Here are some more inspirational reads to light your way:

Crone Quotes from Crone Confidence

5 Reasons to be Glad You’re a Late Bloomer

Later Bloomer – Creativity Never Gets Old

Keep in touch

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. Look forward to connecting with you and inspiring your wholehearted story!

And download the 10 Tips for Creating More Meaning and Purpose in Your Life Personal Action Checklist. Get moving!

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creativity inspiration & influence

Writing retreat in Hoi An review + photo essay – seeing with fresh eyes

October 31, 2018

You are permitting a return to yourself, and and in that return you will begin to see yourself and your life with fresh eyes. For that return is a foretaste of the inner place of retreat which in truth is never far away – after all, it is none other than who you are.

Roger Housden, Retreat: Time Apart for Silence and Solitude

Recently, I went on a writing retreat in Hoi An, Vietnam led by my friend Kerstin Pilz. Here is a review and photo essay of my experience and learning.

One thing I decided I would do this year is take myself away on a writing retreat. After a tough past year, a time of nourishing my creative self via a writing retreat sounded delicious. Shortly afterwards, my friend Kerstin Pilz of Write Your Journey (who has written her wholehearted story here on Quiet Writing!) announced a writing retreat in her home base of Hoi An, Vietnam in September this year.

I’ve always wanted to go to Vietnam and Hoi An in particular. Kerstin’s retreat included a focus on yoga as well as writing which was very inviting. In all it featured: writing, yoga, exploring Hoi An, beautiful boutique accommodation, sound bowl meditation and generally activating the jaded senses in a fresh environment. And all at a very reasonable price for so much valued input. That was all a big tick for me in every way for this writing retreat. So before long, I signed up for the retreat and eagerly awaited September.

Eventually I headed off on 7 September to Hoi An for a blissful week. Here is my story of my yoga and writing retreat week. In summary, if you are thinking of a writing retreat, I wholeheartedly recommend it, and especially Kerstin’s retreats, for seeing with fresh eyes. Absolutely do it – you will love the self-care, stimulation, reflection and perspective it provides. For further detail read on! Photographs are by Nigel Rowles, Kerstin Pilz and me, and others – all credits are noted with thanks at the bottom of this post.

Writing retreat

I’ve written for years, been to many writing workshops, created and been part of writing groups. But I’d never been on a writing retreat. The thought of going away for a week to focus on writing was such an exciting on! I wasn’t sure what to expect but I was open to whatever came. From my shift to a new life as a life coach, I knew approaching the retreat with a beginner’s mind was essential. So that’s what I went with. I took along the finished 84K first draft of my Wholehearted book, as much as a talisman as anything. Most of all, I knew I had a week to focus on writing and that was enough for me.

The writing experience on the retreat prompted us to hone in on our unique voice. With three of us at the retreat, we enjoyed close attention and a strong sense of connection. Writing sessions focused on a theme such as beginner’s mind (appropriate!), writing for the senses, storytelling, memoir and crafting a personal creative manifesto. We worked with various types of prompts such as physical objects and photo prompts.

It was so valuable for me to work with themes, prompts and exercises to dust off and access my voice. I have written in different ways as I’ve started a new business, drafted a non-fiction book and blogged on various platforms. But most of this writing started with my own motivations. It was valuable for someone else to provide the context, perspective, prompts and ideas to help access my voice and deeper stories.

Writing with others

Writing with a group, all of us different in our writing interests and motivations, was so powerful. I usually write alone so stepping outside of my comfort zone to write with others was another way of getting back to my voice with support and encouragement. Kerstin is a highly experienced writer, writing teacher and blogger as well as a university lecturer by background. She was adept at crafting a gentle writing curriculum experience that opened us up to our voice and skill. Moreover, Kerstin wrote alongside us and shared her words as well which I so valued.

We laughed and cried at different times and always marvelled at what could come forth in ten short minutes. It was a long time (years!) since I’ve read my own words out aloud. This in itself was so powerful. You forget the power of hearing your own voice. With the influence of the environment of Hoi An with all its colour and freshness weaving into our days alongside our writing, we refreshed our purpose, craft and voice from multiple perspectives.

Yoga, sound bowl meditation and other treats

Having yoga and other healing practices alongside writing for the retreat was brilliant, each piece illuminating the other dimensions. Kerstin is an experienced yoga teacher, and partner, Nigel Rowles, is a professional musician and sound bowl master. All these skills combined to craft a writing retreat with practice and mindfulness as a central component. The unifying theme was practice – writing practice, yoga practice and other practices to help us still the mind and cultivate positive habits.

Our yoga studio was a purpose-built platform over the water in a secluded setting. Local yoga teacher, Victoria Nhan, led practices including early morning yoga sessions in a quiet and flexible way. Skilled in her teaching to meet the various needs of the group, Victoria reminded us to smile as we practised and to see our thoughts coming and going “like clouds in the sky”, reflecting the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh. We also enjoyed a morning session of Qi Gong with Victoria at An Bang Beach.

Kerstin also led yoga sessions and provided meditation leadership. Nigel provided sound bowl music as a soundtrack and key element of our meditation practice. Sound bowl music was something I had never experienced first-hand and I loved it. The sound hangs in the air and goes through your body as it resonates. An individual hour-long sound bowl meditation with Nigel was included and involved the placing of sound bowls around us and on our body. It was the deepest of relaxation experiences. That night I slept like I hadn’t slept for a long time. A reiki session with Victoria was an extra option I took up. This was a deeply healing practice at the end of the retreat which helped to integrate the week.

Beautiful surrounds to calm, inspire and delight

Hoi An was all I had imagined and more and we were blessed to be staying in the most charming quiet location. Our hosts at An Villa, our home for the week, went out of their way to make us feel at home and relaxed. Every need was met including excellent fresh food (most meals were included in the retreat package), stunning comfortable rooms, a beautiful pool, an open-air yoga studio and the best attention by all the staff. We felt like part of the An Villa family.

Phuong from An Villa in particular supported us, acting as tour guide when we visited the Ancient Town of Hoi An, travelling by boat first and then walking at night through the busy lantern-filled streets. She led us for a tour of the local markets where we purchased food for a cooking class led by An Villa staff. Walking through rice paddies to arrive at the market, the colours, sights and smells of fresh fruit, vegetables, meat and fish met us and surrounded us as we wandered through. We selected our produce and headed back to learn about Vietnamese cuisine by preparing our own lunch. With our senses truly activated, we channelled these experiences into our writing.

A well-balanced and integrated itinerary and journey

Kerstin arranged a well-balanced itinerary and journey through the week. The yoga and writing complemented each other perfectly as we attended to both practices. We spent our time between the quiet solitude of An Villa and trips out and around. This included visits to the World Heritage listed ancient town of Hoi An, to a live performance of cultural theatre and music, to specially selected restaurants and to An Bang Beach for sunrise.

It felt so special to be treated to the delights of Hoi An by locals, with Kerstin, Nigel and Phuong accompanying us and showing us around. This meant we could truly relax and soak in the atmosphere, feeling safe and supported. You could just be in the moment exploring and absorbing, like everything was a part of the practice of craft and retreat.

Whether it was Qi Gong on An Bang Beach, a drink at the Market Bar at sunset, shopping in the lantern-lit ancient town, dinner at Chips and Fish, indulging in healing practices or writing by the pool or beside the beach, everything was so refreshing and integrated. Each day brought new pleasures to reflect on and enjoy: the taste of fresh produce carefully chosen and blended together; brilliant colours symbolised by lanterns everywhere; incense wafting in the streets to celebrate the New Moon; the crashing of waves rising to meet the sun; and Vietnamese performers flexing in powerful routines against a backdrop of resounding drums giving us a fresh take on tradition.

My learnings

My learning from this week are many and enduring including:

Writing exercises are useful tools to free up your writing, get in touch with your voice, create new content and move in new directions.
It’s revitalising to read your writing aloud and hear it in the company of others compassionately witnessing your work.
Indulge the senses and engage in new experiences to reinvigorate yourself and your writing. Hoi An is the perfect place for this.
The art of practice, whether it’s writing, yoga or anything else, is important to weave into our days. Each practice complements the others.
Fresh food is so much better than what we often find in supermarkets. Shopping in the local market and the meals at An Villa were a reminder to get back to basics. Since returning, I’ve sought out markets with fresher produce that tastes better and lasts longer.
Retreats can be intense. It was an emotional time but that intensity was important for moving through and on with self-care, craft and practice. Significant blocks were worked through, some I’m sure I am not even aware of still!
Occasionally I wanted for more introvert time for integrating everything, but I learnt there was enough of this time. The value of the retreat was in the multiplicity of experiences and interactions. There was opportunity for integrating on the way through and on the return home. Learning to manage my introvert in all of this was a valuable experience.

“Seeing with fresh eyes” sums up the feeling of the week. Whether it was looking at my writing practice, working out how to weave yoga into my days, eating better food, connecting with writing community, dealing with my introversion or enjoying new sights and sounds, it was all about that return to self and seeing afresh.

Special mentions

With all of this, it’s hard to single out the highlights. But if I think about where the experience and practice left a lasting impact, here’s a list of special mentions:

My fellow retreat participants – Heidi and Flora – were such a joy to be with. Spanning different generations, experiences, countries and cultures, we bonded deeply and laughed and cried together. Sharing my writing and story with these two special women and with Kerstin was a profound experience. I felt held and witnessed, just as I held space and witnessed their work. For this, I am very grateful.
Victoria Nhan is a skilled and healing yoga and Qi Gong teacher and Reiki practitioner. I connected deeply with her teaching and the Reiki session we enjoyed together integrated healing energy which I take forward.
All the staff at An Villa and especially Phuong and Le for all their attentions, making us feel so at home and welcome. The food was simply outstanding and another aspect of the “fresh” experience. I can’t wait to go back to An Villa for another stay. Fabulous choice, Kerstin!
Nigel Rowles for his work with the sound bowl music and meditations – such a special healing treat; for his photography that captured the highlights and moments and was generously shared with us; and for hosting us with Kerstin in so many ways over the week.

And finally to Kerstin, creator, architect, event manager, organiser, teacher, writer, tour guide, facilitator, photographer and friend. So many hats worn with such aplomb, generosity and deep commitment to us all. Thanks for sharing the joys of your hometown, your healing writing craft and yoga and meditation practices with us all. I am truly grateful for everything you created and shared with us.

Seeing with fresh eyes

On Kerstin’s website, she says:

I’m here to make you become best buddies with your inner writer, teach it to speak in your authentic voice and send you on a journey of discovery together.

And that was this writing retreat week was like, an intense and transformative journey of voice and discovery. If you have the opportunity to share in a writing retreat with Kerstin, do take it up. It’s a life-changing experience in so many dimensions, one that I am still unravelling and learning. It will certainly help you see life and yourself with fresh eyes. And in the meantime, visit Write Your Journey and connect with Kerstin and all her rich offerings and inspiration.

Photographic credits

We were blessed with excellent photographers for this retreat in Nigel and Kerstin helping us to capture the moments. I blend these images with my own in this photo-essay. The individual photographs are credited as follows, with photographs from others used with permission and thanks:

Feature image – hand writing + The Writing Life – Nigel Rowles
Hands writing – Nigel Rowles
Flowers on the yoga deck – Terri Connellan
Writing at An Villa – Nigel Rowles
Heliconia by my villa entry – Terri Connellan
Lanterns in Hoi An ancient town – Terri Connellan
Our yoga pavilion studio over the water – Nigel Rowles
Yoga practice – Nigel Rowles
An Bang Beach sunrise – Terri Connellan
Qi Gong on An Bang Beach – Nigel Rowles
My villa home for the week at An Villa – Terri Connellan
The garden and pool view at An Villa – Terri Connellan
Cruising on the river into ancient town – Nigel Rowles
Shopping at the local markets – Terri Connellan
Ingredients, cooking class at An Villa – Terri Connellan
Braised eggplant in claypot in preparation – Kerstin Pilz
Rice fields on the way to the markets – Terri Connellan
Local scene from a writing session at Anantara Hoi An resort – Terri Connellan
Afternoon tea and writing session at Anantara Hoi An resort – Anantara staff
Writing retreat buddies – Kerstin Pilz
Nigel Rowles – Kerstin Pilz
Kerstin and I at An Villa – Le, staff member An Villa
Retreat participants in yoga pose with Victoria Nhan – Nigel Rowles
Kerstin Pilz – Nigel Rowles

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Meeting the unexpected with deeper insights

What I have learned

Resources that have supported me

About Heidi Washburn

Read more Wholehearted Stories

Keep in touch + free ebook ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

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Never too old + countering the “too old” story

Never too old to start over + become a coach

Never too old to be coached

Never too old to learn new skills

Never too old to start a business

Never too old to write a book

Examples of older writers and their first book

Courage, skills and being of service

What are you never too old to do right now?

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You are permitting a return to yourself, and and in that return you will begin to see yourself and your life with fresh eyes. For that return is a foretaste of the inner place of retreat which in truth is never far away – after all, it is none other than who you are.

Roger Housden, Retreat: Time Apart for Silence and Solitude

Writing retreat

Writing with others

Yoga, sound bowl meditation and other treats

Beautiful surrounds to calm, inspire and delight

A well-balanced and integrated itinerary and journey

My learnings

Special mentions

Seeing with fresh eyes

Photographic credits

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