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Author – my 2021 Word of the Year check-in!

December 30, 2021

My word for 2021 is AUTHOR.

Here’s what I wrote on Instagram about what that meant sitting on the threshold of 2021:

  • stepping into the identity of author
  • embracing life as an author and learning new skills – publication, launching, author platform.
  • keeping writing front and centre in every way
  • completing, beginning and progressing writing projects
  • being visible as an author and talking about my books and writing
  • helping others embrace writing and being an author
  • helping women be the creator of their stories and the active author of their lives through enhanced self-leadership.

Here’s how that shaped up over the year and some tips for applying this learning in your life!

Stepping into the identity of author

What’s the difference in identity between writer and author? That’s something I’ve pondered this year. For me, WRITER is more focused on the process and act of writing. AUTHOR is more about what we shape and produce through writing: a finished book, something published and out in the world in some way.

I love writing especially the writer’s process so have always aligned myself to that identity. Stepping into the identity of author feels more public. It meant committing to completing my book Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition and the Wholehearted Companion Workbook. After four plus years of writing, it meant moving through the long haul of creating a book – or two – and finishing them. Receiving my books in print for the first time. Having them sold by book-sellers. Seeing them in online stores. Working in partnership with editors and publishers like the wonderful the kind press. These were thrilling milestones and I’ve loved stepping into AUTHOR as my writing identity in 2022. Thanks to those who have read Wholehearted and supported me on my author journey!

Tips for you:

If stepping into the identity of author is a priority in your life for 2022:

Embracing life as an author and learning new skills – publication, launching, author platform.

This has been a huge focus this year and I have learnt so much through a combination of doing, reading and listening. Working with the kind press as my publisher has been a wonderful introduction to independent publishing. I deliberately choose the indie author path. This is because I want to keep control of my work as much as I can and have creative freedom. Learning the skills to independently publish has been something I’ve invested time and money in over the long-term for about 10 years now. So to go through the process was so exciting.

I chose to work in partnership with the kind press because even though I had some knowledge, I didn’t have the practical experience. It felt overwheling to do it all on my own. Through this partnership I achieved two goals:

  1. I independently published my books in a way I am totally delighted with, and
  2. I learnt about the independent publishing process; information I can use again and again on my journey.

Another valuable process was working through and creating my Author Business Plan with the help of Joanna Penn’s book Your Author Business Plan. This helped me to gather together what I already had created on my Quiet Writing business journey as a creative. And to work out the next steps to focus more on my author platform.

Key players in understanding the launch process as an author were my publisher Natasha Gilmour, editor Penelope Love, publicist Sian Yewdall and Jessica Tutton who I have worked with over 2020-1 on launching.

This Book Launch Checklist shared with me by the lovely Amanda Rootsey helped a lot too. It feels overwhelming at times as launching anything often does. But strengthening my skillset around launching generally helped immensely.

The other part of embracing life as an author was learning new writing skills especially around long haul writing. Editing, especially editing two books at once, was a challenging process. I was so grateful for the partnership and support of my editors, Penelope Love and Dr Juliet Richters, as well as my publisher, Natasha Gilmour and my co-writing buddy Beth Cregan!

Tips for you:

If embracing life as an author and learning new skills is a priority in your life for 2022:

  • Read Your Author Business Plan by Joanna Penn. It’s short but powerful and then do the work to create your Author Business Plan.
  • Join Beth Cregan and I for the Writing Road Trip in 2022 where we will talk about all aspects of the writing journey and support you including writing your Author Business Plan.
  • Listen to The Creative Penn Podcast.
  • Make a list of all the skills you want to work on and possible paths to learning these skills in 2022.

Keeping writing front and centre in every way

Co-writing with my buddy Beth Cregan of Write Away with Me most week mornings is a crucial element in keeping writing front and centre. I start the day with Morning Pages and Tarot as anchors for the day. The accountability with another writer helps me show up to the page regularly. We talk about writing too which keeps it centred and supported in my world.

Honouring the place of writing in my life as an author has been so important this year. To see my work published in the world is affirming and a goal of many years. Continuing to write and make space for writing as a wholehearted self-leadership skill that supports all of my life is so important. It’s the piece that holds everything else together and makes sense of it all. So I honour its place in my life including writing first thing most mornings.

Tips for you:

If keeping writing front and centre in every way is a priority for you for 2022:

Beth Cregan

Completing, beginning and progressing writing projects

I like the energy of this one. And it captures the idea that writing is an ongoing process and one that has many parts: including getting ideas, researching, drafting, editing, publishing. This year I have worked on the mindset to have writing projects going at different stages. Anne Janzer’s book The Writer’s Process has helped me with this through getting clearer about the different cognitive gears and tools used at different stages of writing. We can use knowledge of the writing process and our personal preferences to juggle multiple projects:

…stagger the start times so the projects are in different phases: research, drafting, incubation, revision. Create the right work environment and conditions for each type of work. If you are freshest mentally in the morning, do the drafting first thing. Schedule research and revision for the other parts of the day, and remember to leave unstructured time to ponder what you’re learning in the research.

Anne Janzer, The Writer’s Process p.142

As I completed both books ready for publication, I also worked on combining the Wholehearted Stories on Quiet Writing into a single draft. It helped manage my energy and keep me motivated to have a new writing project to work on as the others were completing. This idea of managing multiple projects is one I want to work on more in practice.

Tips for you:

If completing, beginning and progressing writing projects is a priority for you for 2022:

The book The Writer's Process by Anne Janzer sitting on a weathered table next to a Traveller's notebook and pen with a spiralled shell and an anemone shell.

Being visible as an author and talking about my books and writing

This has been a big one this year. As writers, we often operate behind the scenes. The work happens in relative privacy and sometimes no-one else sees what we are writing for a long time if ever. But the writing is one thing and the being visible and talking our books via Instagram or Facebook Lives, Masterclasses, virtual or in personal book launch events and on podcasts is another. It’s been new territory for me to be so visible as an author and I’ve embraced it.

I stepped up into talking about my book via Instagram lives. I’ve enjoyed speaking about Wholehearted and the writing process on the following podcasts:

The more you do it, the better you feel. Taking the time to prepare speaking notes on questions provided or brainstormed ahead helps immensely to be clear in what you want to say.

I also started my own Create your Story Podcast launching on 29 October 2021 and have enjoyed sharing conversations on my Wholehearted book with key connections. I’m loving podcasting and the deep conversations shared. I hope you find inspiration in there too – there are many gems!

I held two virtual book launches of Wholehearted given we were in lockdown. You can catch them on the podcast as Episode 2 and Episode 3. I also had a live event with the lovely Anna Loder.

You can join a Wholehearted Self-leadership Book Club where we will do a year long community walk through the book with me as your guide and coach. It’s not too late to join. Our community call on Section 1 of the book is in mid January. So head here to join up now – there are still a few spots available.

It’s been a time of stretch talking about my books and writing in all these different ways but I’ve loved it and I hope it’s been helpful. I have so much more to say and share.

Tips for you:

If being visible as an author and generally is a priority in your life for 2022:

  • Send a pitch to me to be on the Create Your Story Podcast. I’d love some new author guests!
  • Listen to podcasts to see how others talk about their books, writing and authorship. Check out my interviews above.
  • Prepare speaking notes for answering questions on podcasts and author interviews so you are ready. Do this even if you don’t have any podcasts booked as yet! This helps you get clear on what you want to say about your writing.
  • Check out Joanna Penn at The Creative Penn for lots of author books and podcasts including her book, Public Speaking for Authors, Creatives & Other Introverts.

Helping others embrace writing and being a new author

As I’ve gone on my writing, authorship and publishing journey, others have reached out to me for advice and support. I’ve helped them in various ways – through my coaching and more informally. I’m a writing teacher by background and helping others to write and create their story is a consistent thread in my life. I found as I committed to writing in a deeper way and stepped more fully into the author role, it’s natural for me to help others.

Throughout my transition journey, I’ve offered women the opportunity to share their wholehearted story and step into being a guest writer on Quiet Writing. Over 20 women have taken up the offer. I’ve helped each of them to craft and share their story so they can feel proud and empowered. You can read the Stories of Wholehearted Living on Quiet Writing. Women have found this to be a healing process that helped them share their deeper, more personal story, sometimes for the first time. Each wholehearted story helps others to write theirs. Readers feel inspired and not so alone in their journeys to living more fully. I collated these stories into one volume for potential publication in 2022. It reminded me of all that I have done in this space as a writing teacher and coach and the powerful voices shared.

For a long time I’ve felt called to offer a program to create community, inspiration and connection for people while writing. This is especially for longer pieces where you need support and tenacity. In partnership with my morning writing buddy, writing teacher and mentor, Beth Cregan, we’ll be kicking off the Writing Road Trip in early 2022. So if writing is high on your list of priorities for 2022, get the support, mindset insights, skills, community and conditions to help you write. You can get on the email list for the Writing Road Trip program now. We are sending out writing inspiration via our newsletters. Working on this partnership and community with Beth is a real joy and I look forward to shaping a supportive writing-focused community in 2022.

Tips for you:

If embracing writing and being a new author is a priority in your life for 2022:

Helping women be the creator of their stories and the active author of their lives through enhanced self-leadership.

All of my work is about helping women to be the active creator of their stories. It’s the focus of the Create Your Story Podcast, my Wholehearted Books, my 1:1 coaching and my group coaching programs. I have a mindmap here of my planned creations when I kicked off my business with ‘Create Your Story’ firmly in the centre of that map of ideas. Create Your Story and Wholehearted Self-leadership are aligned concepts. And 2021 was the year in which many of these ideas came to fruition especially with the podcast and books being launched into the world to share inspiration and strategies with other women.

The place where I work most intimately with women is 1:1 coaching and this is the quiet undercurrent of my work which continued in 2021. Women set goals and moved through blockages; they dealt with unhelpful mindsets and they put practical strategies in place to help them achieve their desires. Coaching has been a bedrock in my own transition journey and I invite you to consider coaching with me if wishing to make change need support on that journey. We all can benefit from such guidance. Sometimes there’s only so far we can go by ourselves. Coaching is via 1:1 or group programs including the Book Club and Writing Road Trip in 2022.

Tips for you:

If creating your story and being the active author of your life is a priority for you for 2022:

So what was your Word of the Year and how did it manifest?

So take some time to reflect on your word of the year – or intentions and goals – and see how it played out. It’s not always as we plan. Sometimes it’s more conscious as it was for me this year. Other times it is more subconscious and we forget our word or focus and then find it has manifested anyway. But take the time to reflect! There are often buried jewels there and important realisations to take forward.

Let me know in the comments here on social media how this played out for you!

I’ve got my Word for 2022 ready to go! it came pretty easily this year. I’ll share more about it in the first week of 2022. So stay tuned. Love to hear what’s coming up for you as a focus for 2022 too.

Books self-leadership + leadership writing

Wholehearted Self-leadership Book Club

December 8, 2021

The Wholehearted Self-leadership Book Club next gathers together to take a deep year-long read together of Wholehearted and the Companion Workbook in December 2022! So get on the waitlist so you don’t miss out! Here’s why I created it, what it is, how it works, how to access it and why you might want to.

About me and my Wholehearted books

I’m Terri Connellan – an author, creative transition coach and personality type practitioner.

I wrote two books Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition and the Wholehearted Companion Workbook over 4.5 years as I went through a major life transition. Shifting from long-term government employee of 30+ years, I now enjoy a more creative life focused around writing, coaching, personality type, wellbeing and inspiring others.

My books written from the midst of transition, share the journey and the learning on the way to inspire your creative transition. The books chose me if you like because of the particular set of experiences I’ve been through and learned from that enabled me to write and share my story with heart.

I know how uncertain it seems, how lost and alone we can feel, when making major change. So I share my experiences to support you to be more wholehearted and shape the self-leadership skills to create what you desire.

Photo by Samantha Burns of the @MaianbarBeachCafe

The why of Wholehearted

The WHY of Wholehearted is to support women to develop the self-leadership skills to live more creative, wholehearted lives.

This WHY helped me to make sense and structure what was happening into something useful for myself and for others from this time of major change. And I offer this learning to you to help you shift to what is more positive to you.

If you haven’t read or bought Wholehearted yet, you can download Chapter 1 for free. This also provides an overview of the contents pages so you can see what’s in the book as a whole.

It was always my dream and desire to create support and a space for discussion about transitions people are going through based on the insights of the books. That’s why I’ve created the Wholehearted Self-leadership Book Club for a year-long read of the books together.

So why a book club to support you in transition?

So you might be asking, why a book club to support me as I contemplate or go through change?

If you are going through a major change in your life, you’ll know it can feel VERY destabilising! The transitions can be many and varied such as:

  • job change
  • retirement
  • redundancy
  • retrenchment
  • wanting to write a book
  • making space for creativity
  • making art more central in your life
  • working for yourself instead of others
  • tree change
  • sea change
  • moving house
  • becoming an author
  • stepping into a new phase of creativity or writing or art
  • kids leaving home
  • relationship change
  • leaving paid employment
  • learning new skills you want to shape a business or practice around

And so much more. You might not even know exactly what it is but that where you are is not where you want to be.

Navigating change can take time and leave us feeling lonely at times as we re-create a new identity. Our networks might change. We are building on the foundations of what we have already created and working with our personality strengths in new ways which is positive but takes work. It is often about how we have defined ourselves so it means looking at ourselves in new ways.

So the Wholehearted Self-leadership Book Club is a way of processing all of these experiences in a structured, supported way. Wholehearted is full of rich insights and resources! It’s the wisdom of a lifetime distilled. People are telling me they are savouring it, meandering, going down side tracks, reading other books mentioned within its pages. And that is exactly what I envisaged the reading experience to be like: something we carve out time for. It is a practical book above all; that’s why there’s an accompanying Wholehearted Companion Workbook.

About the Book Club + how to join in

So yes, it’s a book club, because book clubs are an awesome way to reflect and connect around reading. But it’s also a community/group coaching program with 90-minute monthly live calls with me as your coach asking questions to prompt growth, support you in transition and creativity, suggesting just the right resources, and guiding you to the best outcomes. Plus you get to learn from others, tap into my experiences of transition and writing the books and ask me anything you want!

We’ll work through the book and workbook one section at at time in a deep, guided read you can apply immediately in your life. So whatever change is happening (or not happening) for you, I hope you’ll join me in the book club.

This is a cost-effective way to get coaching guidance and commit to change with support and community. There is a monthly payment plan and an annual upfront one where you can save as well as 50% scholarship options for Black Indigenous Women of Colour, women with disabilities and LGBQT women and non binary people to encourage participation and equity. Apply here for to be considered for the scholarship option.

So head to the Wholehearted Self-leadership Book Club enrolment and info page to find out more and join us. And join the waitlist to be the first to know when enrolment is open for our December 2022 into 2023 start!

Wholehearted Self-leadership Book Club waitlist for Dec 2022 into 2023

I hope you will join me and the community of women that is gathering. You can DM me on social media too if you have any questions.

Want to read more?

Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition

Wholehearted Companion Workbook

Wholehearted Reader Praise

Wholehearted Book Walk-through

Wholehearted Virtual Book Launch 1

Wholehearted Virtual Book Launch 2

Wholehearted Book Club Notes – generic Book Club notes, but they give you an idea of what we will cover over the year!

love, loss & longing wholehearted stories

The Silent Whispers of my Mind – Journeying from fragmented to wholehearted

September 16, 2021

This guest post from Valerie Lewis shows how learning to listen to the silent whispers of our mind can help us shift from feeling fragmented to more wholehearted living.

This is the 23rd guest post in our Wholehearted Stories series on Quiet Writing! I invited readers to consider submitting a guest post on their wholehearted story. You can read more here–the invitation is open.

Quiet Writing celebrates self-leadership in wholehearted living and writing, career and creativity. This community of voices, each of us telling our own story of what wholehearted living means, is a valuable and central part of this space. In this way, we can all feel connected on our various journeys and not feel so alone. Whilst there will always be unique differences, there are commonalities that we can all learn from and share to support each other.

I’m honoured to have Valerie Lewis as a ‘Wholehearted Stories’ contributor. Valerie and I met when she joined me as a coaching client in the Sacred Creative Collective. In this story, Valerie shares how tragic life circumstances affected her so deeply. And how she moved through grief and feeling fragmented to connecting the pieces of herself through listening within. Thank you for sharing your story, Valerie.

The Silent Whispers of my Mind – Journeying from fragmented to wholehearted

My only child was killed at the age of seven. Amongst the shock and disbelief of what had happened and feeling as if I had been thrust into some horrific, unimaginable nightmare, as the days and months passed by, my mind felt so jumbled and filled with chatter. One minute my mind would tell me I couldn’t cope or I didn’t know how to think or couldn’t think straight. Sometimes at night when all was silent around me, my mind would tell me it was all a very bad dream and tomorrow I would wake up and my life would be as it was before and back to normal. 

There was one time, though, when a voice, which seemed different and to come from a deeper place within my head and upper body emitting a warmth and calmness which I temporarily felt (as it spoke), assured me I would get through this. Afterwards, I was to wonder if I had actually had this thought or not because I couldn’t determine whether the voice that had spoken was in my head or outside of it.

Life can be scary

We all get scared and want to turn away, but it isn’t always strength that makes you stay. Strength is also making the decision to change your destiny.

~ Zoraida Córdova

During this painfully surreal time, I had a lot of decisions to make, some minor and many major, and there were practical tasks to be attended to. Some of my biggest decisions revolved around the fact that I was no longer who I used to be. Indeed, who was I now? I can look back and realise that the voice within my head, you know, the one I said felt as if it came from a deeper place within me, the whispering voice that was calm, matter-of-factly and assuring, really came to the fore (not sure why—maybe I was just more sensitive and receptive), and guided me in some of my decision-making (such as the decision to file for divorce and also officially change back to my maiden surname).

Of course, sometimes it was a battle, as the internal monologue was overwhelming. It was as if diverse thoughts vied for attention. Thoughts of the past, thoughts about the present, thoughts about the future that could have, should have been and thoughts about a future that I couldn’t really define, visualise or even fantasise about. Fear and an overwhelming sadness were predominant emotions during that time. But there was also a strong will to make it through that existed within me as I embarked on my journey to discover who I now was and the eventual decision to move away and create a new life for myself in another city. I was not to know then that my ‘journey’ was a journey of self-leadership and would involve so much discovering and learning.

A fragmented life

There were times when I felt too scared to look ahead to the future. The future I had envisaged and had been working towards was now a shattered dream. Many of the tangibles in my life were no longer there in the form I had previously known them – my husband (was committed to a secure hospital for the manslaughter under diminished responsibility of our daughter, and diagnosed as schizophrenic), my daughter, our home, our car, even our cat Smokey – our relationship was now different as he was ‘adopted’ by an aunt and uncle and was no longer ‘my cat’ as such. Even the non-tangibles – routine and familiarity were now changed.

I no longer felt whole. I and my life were fragmented, with many of the pieces, like a jigsaw, now no longer there. Would I ever wake up one day and my heart not hurt so much? And would I someday feel happy again, and how was it even possible for a human being to shed so many tears? Would I ever become a whole person again and when would it happen – next month, next year, in five, ten years or never? How would I know, how would I feel then?

Feeling my feelings

When I said I didn’t know how to move forward, not necessarily in a practical sense, but in the way I felt and dealt with my feelings, someone suggested to just take each day as it came. It made sense to me. Instinct told me that to survive, I had to go through what I had to go through. I had to feel the feelings I felt. There was no other way if I wanted to remain sane. I would get through this. The calm, matter-of-factly voice had whispered that one time to me. No matter what the other voices said, I needed to hold on to these particular words and the lesson I was learning, that it is best to not ignore feelings (emotional states).

Somehow, we have to find ways to go through them. Sure, we can try to circumvent them, but feelings are pretty tenacious and can be quite slippery. They can sneak back into our minds and bodies and cause us to remain stuck with hurt and grief or to become ill.

One book, gifted to me by a dear friend in 1988, ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’, by the now deceased Susan Jeffers was perhaps the first ‘self-help’ book I devoured as I sought guidance on how to deal with my inner fears and confront and cope with life’s challenges. 

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them—that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.  

~ Lao Tzu

The silent whispers of my mind—my inner wise Sage

It was some years later that I really grasped and understood that my silent whisperer, the one that stood out (and still does) as differing from the other whisperers, was my intuition. This developed during the late ’90’s and early noughties. I became familiar with energy healing (namely Reiki); explored astrology, colour therapy, crystals, tarot and oracle cards; embraced creativity and journaling; and read many more self-help/personal development books. I also gained a better understanding of my personality as an introvert and thus my natural inclination to go within to seek answers and understand the world and my existence within it. Personal development classes with someone I now look back on as a mentor type figure, and also some spiritual development classes also helped to integrate this realisation.

My calm, silent whisperer does not repeat their initial message – they say it once. Sometimes they don’t even speak. I just have a deep sense of ‘knowing’, or some might say, ‘a calling’, a feeling which seems to fill my upper body. This is unlike the everyday mind chatter or internal monologue that goes on in our head. That calm whispered message or deep sense of ‘knowing’ can occur ages before I’m in a position to act on it. This is to the point that as time goes by, I start to question if it really happened because the other voices have started to interfere and jostle to make their point of view known and dissuade me, or life gets in the way. 

Trusting the silent whisperer

I trusted the silent whisperer’s message without question a couple of years or so after when I met the person who is my partner now and moved in with him, after being hesitant about sharing a home with someone. Another example is from 2014, when I felt called to track down and contact the woman whose personal development classes I’d attended over 10 years previously. I was pleased that although now retired and not actively marketing her services, she was happy to work on a one-to-one basis with me providing directional support and using guided meditation to reconnect with my inner self.

Follow the tugs that come from the heart. I think that everyone gets these gentle urges and should listen to them. Even if they sound totally insane, they may be worth going with.

~ Victoria Moran

I’ve trusted the messages of the silent whisperer when it has seemed to make sense, but sometimes the scenario that plays out makes little sense. Life has presented me with more challenges and no clear route on that path. I’ve had to learn (AND am still learning) to trust that in time (maybe even many years later), the road would become clear, things fall into place and the initial messages would make sense. 

Who am I?

I can’t remember why or how I came to purchase my first deck (Rider Waite). Or the book that I also purchased the year before my 40th birthday and spent many hours studying (Principles of Tarot by Evelyne and Terry Donaldson) still on my quest to discover more about myself and journey towards becoming whole and less fragmented. Evelyne and Terry say that “it is not so much what is ‘in the cards’, as what we ourselves are able to see in them”. Also that ‘the Tarot is really a set of windows through which we can look at life from a different perspective.’ Two of my favourite cards are the High Priestess and Empress – archetypes which I feel represent my inner and outer self.

High Priestess

The High Priestess is the Goddess within. She is the feminine principle, the Yin, the receptive side. She represents the intuition. She shows us the path to realisation is reached by overcoming our own self-doubts, and by listening more trustingly to our own feelings and intuitions.

Empress

The Empress teaches us how to love. It is love that makes our lives unfold and grow. As opposed to the High Priestess, the Empress represents the physical (tangible) world. The Empress is there to show us how we can learn about emotions and feelings through self-expression.

Extracted from the ‘Principles of Tarot’ book

Floating – by Valerie Lewis

Self-expression and intuition

I feel more whole but keep on growing and becoming even more whole. For a good while, intuitive abstract painting has intrigued me and, a couple of years ago I decided to give it a go. The painting above ‘Floating’ reflects the words of the below quote and combines, for me, the two tarot archetypes:

In this life, your so called ordinary life, you must be rooted; and in your inner space, in the spiritual life, you must be weightless and flying, flowing and floating.

~ Rajneesh

Below is ‘Pink Haze’. She serves as a reminder that our life issues are rarely a monochrome black or white. What is in between those two colours, especially in times of transition, if we learn to listen to our intuition, can inspire and guide us onto a path that is true to who we are being/becoming and to living a life that is wholehearted and authentic.

Pink Haze by Valerie Lewis

My experience has shown me it is not always a straightforward path. There may be a circling back, dips, curves, stumbling blocks and so forth as we journey along this path we call life. The truth is, we are all born with intuitive abilities. We use intuition (hear those silent whispers or feel it within our bodies) every day of our lives, some more than others, but often we might be unaware of having done so.

Through perhaps fear, listening to the many voices (inner critic or ego), we ‘rationalise’ or dismiss what we have intuited. It often becomes easier to turn to others for help and guidance. But ultimately—the answers we seek are within us—and we already know what we need to do (even if we think we don’t)—to live life with a mind and soul more wholehearted and less fragmented.

Key book companions along the way

Just a few of the many books that have made an impact on me and my journey:

Feel the Fear (And Do It Anyway)—Susan Jeffers (1987)

The Successful Self (Freeing Our Hidden Inner Strengths)—Dorothy Rowe (1988)

Principles of Tarot—Evelyne and Terry Donaldson (1996)

The Magic Path of Intuition—Florence Scovel Shinn (2013)

The Artists Way—Julia Cameron (1992)

Tune In (Let Your Intuition Guide You to Fulfilment And Flow)—Sonia Choquette (2013) extract free with Spirit and Destiny Magazine

Healing Grief (Reclaiming Life After Any Loss)—James Van Praagh (2000)

Love is in The Earth (A Kaleidoscope of Crystals)—Melody (1995)

I am Diva (Every Woman’s Guide to Outrageous Living)—Elena Bates, Maureen O’Crean, Molly Thompson, Carilyn Vaile (1999)

Inspiration Sandwich (Stories to Inspire our Creative Freedom)—Sark (1992)

About Valerie Lewis

Valerie Lewis is a multipassionate 60plus pro ager. Through grief coaching and personal growth facilitation, she supports and empowers those who are lost and confused with the direction they want to take following a significant life event that has impacted them and their sense of self. Her interests include being an intuitive reader, Reiki and crystals practitioner and avid creative dabbler.

You can connect with Valerie at her website Visualise and Bloom or via Instagram @visualiseandbloom You can also read an interview with Valerie on her transition journey.

Photographs by Valerie Lewis, used with permission and thanks.

Read more Wholehearted Stories

If you enjoyed this wholehearted story, please share it with others to inspire their journey. You might enjoy these stories too:

Women’s stories and their uplifting value in wholehearted living

Writing the way through – a wholehearted story

Lusciously Nurtured – a wholehearted interview with Dawne Gowrie Zetterstrom

Learning to live on the slow path and love the little things that light me up

Year of magic, year of sadness – a wholehearted story

From halfhearted to wholehearted living – my journey

The courageous magic of a life unlived – a wholehearted story

Dancing all the way – or listening to our little voice as a guide for wholehearted living

Tackling trauma and “not enough” with empathy and vision – a wholehearted story

When the inner voice calls, and calls again – my journey to wholehearted living

Maps to Self: my wholehearted story

The Journey to Write Here – my wholehearted story

Ancestral Patterns, Tarot Numerology and breaking through – my wholehearted story

Message from the middle – my wholehearted story

The journey of a lifetime – a wholehearted story

Gathering my lessons – a wholehearted story

Grief and pain can be our most important teachers – a wholehearted story

Breakdown to breakthrough – my wholehearted life

Embracing a creative life – a wholehearted story

Becoming who I really am – a wholehearted story

Finding my home – a wholehearted story

My wild soul is calling – a wholehearted story

Our heart always knows the way – a wholehearted story

How knowing your authentic heart can make you shine

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wholehearted stories writing

Women’s stories and their uplifting value in wholehearted living

August 30, 2021

Other women’s stories helped me on my journey to wholehearted living and have so much to offer you. Telling your story can be healing and also light the way for others.

In the writing and publication of Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition, I’m highlighting people who’ve been a shining light and support on the writing, living and publishing journey.

Stories of Wholehearted Living

First up, here is the most amazing group of women – authors of Stories of Wholehearted Living guest posts on Quiet Writing.

Wholehearted Stories authors

As I went through my journey to living more wholeheartedly, I wanted to hear other women’s voices. Feeling alone and only hearing my voice, it was important to hear what other women had been through. I wanted to know what helped them to shift and integrate life experiences and learning towards living more fully. And I wanted to share this with other women to inspire their journeys and wholehearted lives.

In the middle of 2017, when I was also writing the first draft of my Wholehearted book, I reached out to women I knew. I offered women in my community the opportunity to step forward to write their story.

‘Wholehearted’ emerged as a focus when listening to a Magic Lessons podcast with Elizabeth Gilbert speaking to Mark Nepo. They chat with Cecilia, who lost heart about her writing because of not being accepted into MFA programs. Mark Nepo reads from his poem Breaking Surface which begins ‘Let no one keep you from your journey.’

My book Wholehearted and the Stories of Wholehearted Living all centre around this theme of getting to what is important and not letting others or ourselves stop us. They are women’s stories and voices sharing experiences of challenge, transition, insight and how they moved through to claim wholeness, creativity and strength.

This body of women’s stories has grown over the past few years since then. I’m working on stories with new authors whose stories are imminent. The invitation is always open. The guest posting is a supported writing experience. I bring my writing, teaching, coaching and editing skills together to help you craft your draft into a published story you can feel proud of.

How other women’s stories helped mine

As I was writing Wholehearted, I revisited these stories shared and crafted together. Some feature in the Wholehearted book. These women’s stories and voices inspire me each day, helping me see common connections in experiences. I hope they can help you too because it supports us all to hear other women’s experiences. We feel less alone when we can read another’s story that connects to ours.

Reading of another’s journey through challenging times can give us hope and practical tips. Each author also shares the books and other influences that provided women and insight as they moved towards feeling more whole and wholehearted.

These women’s stories share common themes and strategies like:

  • how to listen to our inner voice.
  • the learning from and working through grief and trauma.
  • how to write our way through and journey with writing.
  • what transition looks like.
  • the resources and learning that can help us gain strength and insight.
  • how art can help us and others heal.
  • practical strategies to get back to what matters and centre it in our lives.
  • how we deal with the toughest challenges in our lives.

Each story tells the author’s journey over time, moving through the challenging middle time of change towards a fuller life.

Turning points in our lives

There are often turning points in our lives when transition takes hold and our lives shift.

For me, it was not being given the opportunity to do a job I felt well suited for in a very changeable work environment where I was struggling to find my place. It sent a powerful message about being out of place and lost with the gap in alignment between myself and the organisation growing. After that, so much changed, and I reached out to a coach for help to make a journey of transition from the long-term government role to a new life. This is the story I share in my Wholehearted book.

Wholehearted story author Heidi Washburn tells of travelling home one day when she experiences a voice speaking to her.

A quiet, gentle but firm voice, not just a thought.

‘I don’t want to do this anymore.‘

What?

‘I said! I don’t want to do this anymore.‘

What do you mean? You have to. You just got the business where you want it. You have staff, an office and now you can do the more creative work. Isn’t that what you wanted?

That was the end of the conversation. Or so I thought.

After that night, after that very moment, everything changed, but so quietly and slowly I hardly noticed. Of course, I was the one deciding. However, I didn’t know where I was going or what the path was. Deep change doesn’t come with a check-list or a schedule. And there is no guarantee that things will work out for the best.

From ‘When the inner voice calls, and calls again‘

How other women’s stories can light the way

Reading other women’s stories can light the way and help us not feel so alone. Each story offers an experience you can relate to and learn from.

Lynn Hanford-Day tells in Breakdown to Breakthrough of getting to the point of a breakdown before making change. Her sacred geometry and mandala art became the way through, and this continues as a sacred creative practice in her life. You can see her beautiful work and process on Instagram.

Katherine Bell went through a huge life transition, leaving behind her country, job and marriage after gaining courage from reading ‘David Whyte’s Crossing the Unknown Sea’. She shows us Our Heart Always Knows the Way.

Penelope Love tells her story of her Journey to Write Here and how writing in various forms has helped her navigate so much wisely.

Sally Morgan tells a story of Writing the Way Through and trusting her writing practice in the seasons of her life, especially when she loses her voice for an extended time.

Bek Ireland goes on personal retreats in her own town to shape the quiet she craves and to hear her inner wisdom. She tells her story in The courageous magic of a live unlived.

Shalagh Hogan explains how she gathers her lessons over time, doing the hard inner work and integrating learning to shape wholehearted Creative Soul Living.

Many women form their versions of what wholehearted living looks like to them with their own language, like Sylvia Barnowski’s Maps to Self. These powerful insights from other women’s stories help shape our journey to wholehearted living.

Thank you to these women for stories shared on Quiet Writing


So thank you to: Katherine Bell, Elizabeth Milligan, Colleen Reagon, Jade Herriman, Lynn Hanford-Day, Kerstin Pilz, Shalagh Hogan, Chantal Simon, Amie Ritchie, Sylvie Kirsch, Penelope Love, Sylvia Barnowski, Heidi Washburn, Maura McCarley Torkildson, Olivia Sprinkel, Bek Ritchie, Emily Lewis, Lisa Dunford, Kamsin Kaneko, Dawne Gowrie Zetterstrom, Sally Morgan and Valerie Lewis.

Thank you for sharing your wholehearted story, creativity, life hacks, special reads and learning from challenging times to inspire our journeys. You’ve all helped mine immensely and you’re stitched into the pages of Wholehearted.

📖 Head to Stories of Wholehearted Living to read more about the project and the guest posts. Or click on the individual names of authors above.
✍️ If you would like to contribute as a guest post author, pop over to Wholehearted Stories to read the invitation.

wholehearted stories
Stories of Wholehearted Living

Book and light photo by Nong Vang on Unsplash

Books writing

Cognitive Science Writing Tips from Anne Janzer’s The Writer’s Process

August 16, 2021

You hone the craft of writing through practice; it does not arise from understanding the mind alone. But the practice is easier and more enjoyable when you approach it in a way that complements your mind’s behavior.

Anne Janzer, The Writer’s Process

My friend and writing buddy Beth Cregan recommended Anne Janzer’s The Writer’s Process, so I downloaded the audiobook and listened on my travels. I loved it! Then I bought the ebook and worked through it again closely for a presentation on personality and writing. Recently the beautiful hard copy arrived because I want this book close by to inspire me as I write and so I can read it again and again.

As it has inspired me so much, I share a few insights from the book here and encourage you to read it!

I’ve read MANY books about writing over the years. What I love about The Writer’s Process is that it looks at the cognitive aspects of writing. Drawing on research from cognitive science, Anne Janzer helps us understand how the brain works in the writer’s process. With that insight, we can work more consciously in partnership with our brain in our creative processes. We can craft our own writer’s process and actively guide our creativity in a more informed and self-aware way.

The more mysterious aspects of writing, the numinous, the inspiration, the moments when the blood flows and the writing is white hot are exciting. But that is just one part of the process to be combined with other more structural and pragmatic elements. Working in a metacognitive way with our brain through all steps of the writer’s process is a practical way to create what we desire to shape.

Here are a few key tips from The Writer’s Process – but read the book in its entirety! It’s a gift of insight from Anne Janzer to writers and creatives.

Know and use your inner gears

Janzer explains two key inner gears in the writer’s process: the Scribe and the Muse.

If you’ve worked through a long-haul writing journey, as I have with my book Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition, you will know the parts that make up the writer’s process feel very different. Some steps like crafting those first creative insights are more aligned to the Muse. Other steps like editing and proofreading are more the work of the Scribe.

Getting clear on these two different perspectives and their associated writing skills has helped immensely. Here is Anne Janzer’s succinct summation:

Within each of us, the Scribe summons our verbal skills to find the right words, assembles them in grammatically correct sentences, and creates sensible structures. The Scribe manages deadlines and gets the work done.

But writer also access intuition, creativity, and empathy. These processes are the domain of the Muse.

The Writer’s Process page 17

This is something we intuitively know and, as a teacher of writing, I was aware of and taught these unique skills. But the framework of the Scribe and the Muse provides a way to move practically with awareness through the steps of the writing process. Critically, they have different kinds of attention:

  • SCRIBE: focused attention eg research, outlining, revision, proof-reading
  • MUSE: creative, wide-ranging attention, including periods of rest, incubation

When we are drafting, ideally the Muse and Scribe work together in a state of flow.

Understanding these different skill-sets and types of attention means we can harness them. We can draw on the interplay between them in our creative process. Janzer’s practical tips for leading ourselves help us negotiate through the ebb and flow of the demanding cognitive task of writing, especially when working on a longer project.

Laptop computer on a desk with an open book and pen and a cup of coffee. It looks like research is in progress.

Understand the 7 steps of the writing process

Anne Janzer provides a very useful 7 step model of the writing process using the analogy of bread-making. She aligns these writing (and baking) steps with the inner gears of the writing process.

Getting clearer on this writing process, one we often cycle back and forth through, has been incredibly useful. I like to have a map, compass or framework for anything I am doing. This overall flow of the writing process and being more cognisant of the inner gears at work has supported me as I’ve moved through writing my book:

1 Research (Scribe)

2 Let the ideas incubate (Muse)

3 Structure the piece (Scribe)

4 Write the first draft (Scribe + Muse)

5 Rest before revision (Scribe rests; Muse may choose to return)

6 Revise and proofread (Scribe leads; occasional Muse input)

7 Publish (Scribe)

It’s powerful to see the process in this way and where the Muse and Scribe fit, especially the role of incubation. We often think we are procrastinating or delaying if we are not always in forward movement with writing. Through the analogy of writing with bread-making, Janzer highlights the importance of letting ideas or drafts rest. Just as bread needs time for the ingredients to activate and integrate, so we need to allow time to reflect on what we have written.

Sometimes, we need to stop writing so more things can come to light in our life. In writing Wholehearted, there was a long period of incubation before the deeper editing process, including reaching out for support. It felt uncomfortable, but now I can see the work required it to be integrated and complete. Knowing this is part of the cognitive and creative process of writing assists us in making sense of the uncertainty and confusion as we let our work rest and ideas incubate.

Ingredients and equipment for bread-making - eggs, milk and a rolling pin alongside a fresh cut loaf of bread.

Apply cognitive science for personal writing productivity

Here are a few further insights for The Writer’s Process that helped in my personal writing productivity and process and in coaching work with others:

Managing multiple writing projects with awareness

The idea of having different cognitive processes at work and tasks has helped with my creative productivity and planning. Janzer encourages us to use the insights from the inner gears and the writing process to stagger our work. It’s challenging to work on the same type of cognitive tasks across different projects at the same time. So look at it another way!

Instead, stagger the start times so the projects are in different phases: research, drafting, incubation, revision. Create the right work environment conditions for each type of work. If you are freshest mentally in the morning, do the drafting first thing. Schedule research and revision for other parts of the day, and remember to leave unstructured time to ponder what you’re learning in the research.

The Writer’s Process page 142

This insight was gold! Now I think about how I structure and schedule my writing in terms of the phases of various writing projects and the processes involved. I’m considering how and when my brain works best and have more self-mastery by choosing the gears and timing. Having multiple writing projects on the go is demanding, but this framework helps us work with more ease and insight. Projects can influence each other. We choose what we work on depending on the project phase, processes and our personality preferences. We can work on the research for one project, the draft for another and the editing of a third, and build a writing schedule around this. Life-changing!

I have also reflected on the insights from cognitive science in The Writer’s Process and the link with psychological type. I presented a session on ‘What 100 Years of Type can Teach us About Writing’ for the British Association of Psychological Type in April this year. Reviewing the field of personality and writing over the years was fascinating and yielded insights into how we go about the writer’s process in different ways as individuals. Our preferences influence how we draft, for example. Some of us would never speak to another person when we draft and work out what to write. It’s a totally introverted and internal journey. Others enjoy a conversation or brainstorming session with others to get ideas and inspiration to write.

It’s valuable to think about how we can bring together the cognitive aspects and our personal cognitive preferences to navigate and flex through the writing process. Insights from the two fields together yield practical tips to help us move through the writing process successfully, especially when we are in it for the long haul!

We might look at:

  • What is our natural way of writing through the writing process?
  • What happens when that doesn’t work or we feel blocked?
  • How can we use knowledge of the gears, the steps and our own preferences to more strongly lead ourselves through the writing process?
  • How can we get to know our unique writer’s process – that mesh of psychological preferences, process and what we desire to craft?

These reflections can lead to more productive and enjoyable creative experiences and journeys.

Writing is intensely personal. Productive writers develop strategies that suit their individual personalities and environments.

The writer’s Process, p1.

Woman writing in a notebook with a few other notebooks beside her and a cup of coffee she is drinking as she writes.

Next steps and thank you

Anne Janzer’s book and my further exploration promoted exciting insights I’m applying and sharing with others in my coaching. Join me and my friend and writing partner, Beth Cregan on The Writing Road Trip in 2022.

Join me in Personality Stories Coaching to get deeper insight into your personality preferences for creativity, writing and all aspects of life. This includes how to honour and work with your strengths and stretch into your less preferred areas to grow.

I’m grateful to Anne Janzer for so many fascinating and supportive insights about the writer’s process. It’s a valuable read with many complex cognitive science ideas clearly articulated. The frameworks are practical for writing more consciously and moving through the writer’s process with clarity.

I encourage you to read The Writer’s Process to inspire and support your writing process. And please share your insights and thoughts in the comments!

Images by others used with thanks to the creators: [ID in Alt text]

Computer and notebook – Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash 

Bread-making – Photo by Hector Farahani on Unsplash 

Woman writing – Photo by Kat Stokes on Unsplash

Books self-leadership + leadership

Wholehearted book walkthrough step by step

August 4, 2021

Welcome to a Wholehearted Book Walkthrough. Here I step you through the chapters and journey of reading my book Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition. I also welcome questions via the comments. You can also watch the video on Youtube with subtitles if that is your preference or it’s easier for you. It’s also at the bottom of this post.

When you pre-order Wholehearted, you can get a copy of Chapter 1 so you can begin reading now. This includes the Contents pages and Foreword, an original and a glimpse of the tarot cards that feature in Wholehearted. That way you can get an overview of the reading journey of Wholehearted and what it offers you. After you’ve purchased the book or books, go to the Wholehearted book page. Pop your details in on that page and it will be with you in no time.

Or I’ve popped the forms at the bottom of this post to make it easier for you if you’ve already purchased!

Copy of the book Wholehearted and the Companion Workbook against a sunrise pink background.

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: the high level

You come into Wholehearted with an introduction into the story of transition via a poem, two key tarot cards, the Foreword and the contents pages. From this, you gain an insight into what is coming and get an overview of the Wholehearted reading journey.

The books is in three parts:

Part 1 My Wholehearted Journey – covers Sections 1 to 5 where I share my experiences of making the shift from long-term government employee to a more wholehearted, self-sustaining, creative life. The essence of this transition was about getting back to what is important in the day to day. I explore the positives and challenges of this experience, what helped me and what I learnt over time. Through-out this section and the book I provide practical tips to help you with making positive transitions.

Part 2 Wholehearted Self-leadership Skills – Sections 6 to 8 is where I bring together the Wholehearted Self-leadership skills I’ve learnt on the journey and share them with you to help your own transition and transformation to what is important to you.

Part 3 Bringing it all together – Sections 9 to 10 is where I take a more high-level view of how living a more wholehearted life comes together. I share what I’ve experienced, the markers, what arrives in the wake of transition and the choices we have. This section conveys what self-leadership looks like when you bring the skills together.

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: I My Wholehearted Journey

To step you through in more detail, here’s an overview of what is in Part I My Wholehearted Journey:

Section 1 Beginning the Journey takes you into the heart of my transition journey. I share the key turning point and how this was coming for a long time as big changes often do. There is a tough moment when I knew this transition was really on. I explore how I rebuilt my life step by step via Quiet Writing, blogging, finding a voice and new purpose and the beginning of an alternative path. We look at transition and turning points and how self-leadership became so important in my life and what it offers you.

Section 2 is about Imagining Another Way. I chart the course of the transition in practical terms and the stepping stones and lighthouses that helped in initial stages. This includes looking at the role of hard inner work, showing up for ourselves and how self-talk affects us as we make our journey.

Section 3 Identifying your Passions and What you Love explains how tapping into your passions and uniqueness is a valuable guide to a new life. This is especially important as we re-orient ourselves to living differently.

Section 4 is Identifying your Natural Gifts, Style and Desires. Here we look at your personality preferences and how embracing your natural strengths and gifts is a powerful guide for transition. We look at defining your style and personality in different ways and how tapping into what you desire to feel offers a compass.

Section 5 rounds off Part 1 and focuses on Identifying your Body of Work and Resources Over Time. When making a significant transition, we can often leave pieces of ourselves behind. So it’s vital to look at your body of work and the resources you’ve built up to move forward in ways that are meaningful to you.

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: II Wholehearted Self-leadership Skills

Section 6 is the largest section of the book and the heart of it. Here I walk you through 15 Wholehearted Self-leadership skills that have been pivotal in my transition. I share these skills to support your own change-making and transformation journey. These practices, mindsets and skills are the foundation and backbone of my transition day in, day out.

They include:

  • 6.1 Setting powerful heartfelt intentions
  • 6.2 Writing as daily practice
  • 6.10 Tuning into intuition and listening within

I explain how these practices helped me and why and how I honed them and continue to hone them over time. 

Section 7 is about Valuing and Building Influences and Connections. I explore the value of influences and honouring what brought you to this point via five of my creative mentors. These mentors have been an immense influence, particularly in the early stages of my transformation in tough times. I unpack what I learnt from each of them as role models. And I talk about the importance of community and support as we make change. Often this is something we need to do in new ways including online.

Section 8 is Working with the Shadow Side in Becoming Whole. Here we traverse some of the darker, shadowy sides of life and our personality. We look at the less preferred areas of our personality, our weaknesses, our inferior function, grief, unrequited love, envy and comparisonitis. Just as we need light and shade in our gardens, and have the lighter and darker cycles of the moon, we need to embrace ourselves fully. It’s helpful to look at the shadow aspects of our life and personality as a force for good. We learn from them. Making these shadow aspects more conscious is some of the most powerfully transformative whole-making work we can do.

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: III Bringing it all together

Part III is where we bring it all together.

Chapter 9 looks at Guides for the Wholehearted Path and two key aspects: synchronicity and grounding in the practical and every day.

Chapter 10 is the final chapter and looks at Self-leadership and Love as the heart of Wholeheartedness. It looks particularly at the role of choice and love in our wholehearted self-leadership journey.

There is a wealth of information and resources in the end matter too, with extensive endnotes and key references for further reading and exploration. 

Cover of Wholehearted Companion Workbook which is pink with a nautilus shell.

Wholehearted Companion Workbook

The Wholehearted Companion Workbook tracks along each of the chapters of the book, providing further application and examples. It provides the opportunity to apply the learning to your own circumstances in a supported self-coaching way. I also share more about my own experiences as an example to help prompt your own thinking.

I hope this walk through of Wholehearted helps you to see the rich reading and transformation experience that awaits.

Head over to the advance praise for Wholehearted from early readers as another insight to the reading experience the book offers.

Links to pre-order Wholehearted are on on my website. You can purchase Wholehearted at Booktopia, Amazon (all territories), Kobo, Apple iBooks, indiebound.org and Bookshop.org. Both books are available at discounted pre-order prices in paperback and ebook!

Once you’ve pre-ordered, don’t forget to come back and add your details to get Chapter 1. You can also join me for a live Masterclass on the 15 Wholehearted Self-leadership skills if you pre-order two or more books. You can do this below.

I hope that’s helpful! Thanks for reading and/or watching and listening. Welcome any further questions or comments!

Thank you for joining me on this Wholehearted journey. I hope the books can support you on your self-leadership transition journey to a more wholehearted and fulfilling life. Whatever that means for you!

Wholehearted Book Walkthrough on video with subtitles

Here’s the video with subtitles if you want to watch:

Here is the form to complete to get Chapter 1 if you’ve already purchased one book:

Here is the form to complete to get Chapter 1 now + an invitation to a live Masterclass on ’15 Wholehearted Self-leadership Skills to Change your Life’ if you’ve purchased 2 or more books:

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