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How to be inclusive of introverts and extraverts in recruitment practices

January 20, 2021
Photo by Christina Morillo from Pexels

One of the challenges of being an introvert is that recruitment practices can feel oriented to more extraverted ways. Here are some strategies for being inclusive of both introverts and extraverts in recruitment for the best outcomes for both organisations and applicants.

Introvert and extravert are personality preferences

Introversion and extraversion are innate personality preferences according to Jungian theory and psychological type frameworks. They indicate the direction and source of our energy. Extraverts have a preference for the outer world and typically charge their batteries through social interaction. Introverts have a preference for the inner world of ideas and feelings and need solitude and quiet to collect their thoughts and refuel. As Jenn Granneman points out, introverts and extraverts are ‘wired differently’ around external rewards: ‘The introvert’s way isn’t about chasing rewards, but rather about seeking meaning.’ These are just preferences, not behavioural indicators, nor are they extreme in each person.

The Extravert Ideal and recruitment

So how do these preferences play out in the context of recruitment? Susan Cain in her book, Quiet, talks about The Extravert Ideal and how there is a general bias in the community towards people who are outgoing and gregarious. With studies showing that one third to a half of the US population are introverts, there are compelling reasons to review recruitment thinking and practices to check how inclusive they are. As many leaders and managers also self-identify as extraverts, there’s a risk that unintended biases can sneak into recruitment processes.

Across the spectrum of skills, leaders of recruitment strategies ideally want to ensure they find the best candidate match for any job role in terms of knowledge, skills and experience. But how do you ensure that the way you manage your recruitment is inclusive, enabling all applicants to show their best potential for the role?

Inclusive approaches to recruitment

Inclusive approaches to recruitment for introvert and extravert types need to be informed by:

  1. Reflecting on the job roles we are recruiting to and checking for any unintentional bias in perceptions on the role itself.
  2. Rethinking how recruitment practices can make space for both introvert and extravert preferences through a mix of assessment methods and styles.
  3. Implementing practical strategies for being inclusive to get the best from all candidates in recruitment contexts.
Photo by Marc Mueller from Pexels

Reflecting on the job roles we are recruiting to

It’s important to start with the job description we are recruiting to so we can be sure there is no inherent bias in the personal requirements. This is challenging because some jobs seem to be inherently linked to particular character traits, like being outgoing and open. It’s vital to have a really good look at these assumptions.

Sales is one area that has become traditionally connected with and impacted by perceptions about introversion and extraversion. Here are some comments on a current website:

For example, if the profile for successful salesmen indicates that extroversion is a desirable characteristic, you had better be sure that you score highly on this trait if you want the job.

However, for almost all jobs, not just sales, employers prefer extroverts over introverts. The reasons given for this preference are firstly, around teamwork and the need to get on with people, and secondly, that people may become leaders in the future so it’s not just about technical skills.

This all appears to be based on the assumption that you need to be extraverted to be able to sell, to work in a team and to be a leader.  Having performed all of these skills successfully as an introvert, I believe we need to challenge these types of stereotypes in thinking about positions and psychological traits.

Challenging stereotypes about key job functions

For example, in terms of sales, Daniel H. Pink explains in his book, To Sell is Human, we are all in sales:

People are now spending about 40 percent of their time at work engaged in non-sales selling— persuading, influencing, and convincing others in ways that don’t involve anyone making a purchase.

The art of sales is more complex than just being outgoing. It’s about influencing, listening and understanding others’ needs, areas in which introverts can be naturally strong.

In terms of teams, work units benefit from a mix of complementary personalities to be able to achieve organizational goals effectively. Diverse groups tend to outperform homogeneous groups, even if the members of the latter group are more capable. Furthermore, diversity fires up innovation.

The reality is that teams of like-minded people often come up with average results. Diverse teams, on the other hand, have been found to inspire original ideas and enable more market opportunities.

Gaia Grant, Do diverse teams produce more creative results?

And whilst there may appear to be more extraverted managers and leaders, introverted preferences such as a desire for solitude can be integral to breakthrough leadership skills such as clarity, emotional balance and moral courage. Lead Yourself First by Raymond M Kethledge and Michael S. Erwin provides case studies of famous leaders that describe how leadership and solitude are strongly aligned.

As these examples show, it’s important to reflect on and be aware of any implicit bias based on personality preferences around introversion and extraversion as they impact on job roles.

Rethinking our recruitment practices to make space for preferences

One way to promote inclusion in recruitment practices is to ensure that the processes involve a mix of strategies that reflect both introvert and extravert preferences. The opportunity to assess candidates through writing, interview, references, group contexts, 1:1 discussion and practical skills assessment can all be considered to ensure that there is not a bias to one preference.

Even though there may be a mix of methods, face to face methods can somehow feel and be treated as pre-eminent and written aspects can seem secondary. It’s important to carefully consider the balance of all assessment inputs, not just the ones that seem more overtly influential.

It’s also important that recruitment methods appropriately reflect the job role across its gamut. If a role is primarily about research and writing, how are we assessing this. Is it by talking about it or by assessing research and writing ability? Perhaps the job is about training. How are we assessing all aspects of this skill and not just the standing up and talking part? Leadership might be key but are we also looking at self-leadership and how the leader recharges, clarifies their visions and thoughts and writes, as well as how well they can talk to a room of people? Lead Yourself First provides ample evidence that we certainly should be looking at all these areas of leadership.

Challenging stereotypes about job roles and recruitment can be effectively tackled by rethinking our assumptions behind the role and how we assess its competencies.

Inclusive strategies for getting the best from introverts in recruitment

Given the orientation towards the extraverted end of the spectrum, it’s worthwhile reflecting on inclusive strategies to enable both introverts and extraverts to do their best in recruitment situations.

Possible inclusive strategies for recruiters include:

  • Developing an understand of personality type and preferences and especially the impacts of introversion and extraversion in the workplace so you can bring the best out of all employees. This applies to both recruitment and wider organizational contexts.
  • Allowing a mix of recruitment techniques that will suit both types of preferences, noting that quiet influencing strategies include: writing, activities that involve preparation, focused conversation and engaged listening. See this Quiet Writing article for more on how introverts can make the most of recruitment opportunities.
  • Considering options that allow for preparation beforehand, even if brief, so that introverts can showcase their more reflective analytical skills rather than have to focus on thinking on their feet.
  • If assessing in group contexts, note that it’s not just about who talks the most but about how valuable the contribution is. Introverts, for example, may take the role of summing up a conversation or providing a single breakthrough idea at the end, rather than participating throughout the conversation. As Susan Cain points out, ‘research shows there’s no correlation between the most talkative person in the room and the best ideas.’
  • A focus on telling success stories which can be really powerful for all candidates and help to provide a more level playing field, as Mark Bregman suggests in Are Recruiters Biased Against Introverts.

At the end of the day, recruitment is an opportunity for people to showcase their skills to enable them to gain a position. The recruiting organisation wants to find the person who will meet their needs across all aspects of behavior. It’s important to ensure that the immediate contexts of recruitment are not a barrier between these desired outcomes. Let’s work to ensure all people have the chance to present their competencies, experience and qualities in the most positive light.


Author note

This post was originally a guest post for recruitment agency WorkSearch and published on their site in 2017. Their site is no longer live so it is reproduced here with minor amendments. Thanks to Bree Rackley for social media and guest posting support for the initial guest posting.

I hope these insights are helpful to you in being inclusive of both introvert and extravert preferences in recruitment. Reach out to me for coaching if you need some support at any time.

Warmest wishes

Terri

About the author, Terri Connellan

Terri Connellan is a certified life coach, author and accredited psychological type practitioner. She has a Master of Arts in Language and Literacy, two teaching qualifications and a successful 30-year career as a teacher and a leader in adult vocational education. Her coaching and writing focus on three elements—creativity, personality and self-leadership—especially for women in transition to a life with deeper purpose. Terri works with women globally through her creative business, Quiet Writing, encouraging deeper self-understanding of body of work, creativity and psychological type for more wholehearted and fulfilling lives. Her book Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition  and the accompanying Wholehearted Companion Workbook were published in September 2021 by the kind press. She lives and writes in the outskirts of Sydney surrounded by beach and bush.

Terri Connellan
Terri Connellan

How to connect with me

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Book your Self-leadership Discovery Call with Terri here.

Connect on social media – Instagram, Facebook, Twitter & LinkedIn. I especially love Instagram.

Read Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition

Want to learn more about personality, creativity and self-leadership for positive transition to the life you desire?

Head over to read about my book Wholehearted and the accompanying Companion Workbook now.

Available in paperback and ebook from retailers listed here:

Wholehearted

Companion Workbook

Further related reading on Quiet Writing:

introversion work life

How to make the most of recruitment opportunities as an introvert

January 16, 2021
introvert recruitment
Photo by Sora Shimazaki from Pexels

Going through recruitment processes as an introvert can be challenging. Here are some practical strategies to make the most of opportunities for jobs or promotions as an introvert.

Traditional recruitment practice and introverts

Key aspects of traditional recruitment practices seem to work against everything that’s natural for introverts. Interviews can be particularly demanding. You talk to a person or panel of people you probably don’t know, focusing on yourself, especially your best points, being as confident and outgoing as you can. Add in the constraints of a limited amount of time in the high-pressure environment of being assessed and it’s enough to start making excuses not to put yourself in that position.

It’s often hard to feel at your best as a quieter person who generally takes more time to reflect before talking. Other hallmarks of introverts that can make this challenging are a tendency to be more reserved and writing as a preferred style of communication.

It’s important to remember that recruitment is an assessment situation and an inherently challenging situation, regardless of personality type. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses to draw on. And there’s often valid reasons why the recruitment approach might want to test your ability to draw on your resources and think on your feet. Whatever the process or emphasis, you can learn to work your natural strengths to make the most of recruitment opportunities as an introvert.

Learning about the ways that you quietly influence

One of the reasons I am passionate about this subject is because I have been there. As an introvert at the extreme end of the spectrum, I’ve learnt the best practices to make the most of recruitment opportunities. I’ve worked hard on my skills over time with the support of a coach, with the insight of feedback, from reading about introvert strengths and from learning about my specific personality type (INTJ in Jung/Myers-Briggs terms).

A book that has helped me enormously is Quiet Influence: The Introvert’s Guide to Making a Difference by Jennifer B Kahnweiler. It focuses on the natural strengths of introverts and how use these skills to have impact. These skills can be applied to recruitment contexts to build skills over time and position yourself more effectively for the positions you desire.

Kahnweiler identifies six strategies that introverts can embrace to achieve influence:

  1. Taking Quiet Time
  2. Preparation
  3. Engaged Listening
  4. Focused Conversations
  5. Writing
  6. Thoughtful Use of Social Media

You can identify your specific strengths in this blend of introvert strategies via a Quiet Influence Quotient (QIQ). This is valuable for understanding how you can have impact in your own unique way as an introvert.

Learning to work your quiet influence in recruitment contexts

From these strategies, the two areas that introverts can really exploit to maximize recruitment opportunities are Preparation and Writing. Here are some tips in these areas to help you make the most of your introvert strengths for recruitment outcomes.

Preparation

The biggest factor for introverts in successful job applications is preparing well and thoroughly. Whilst extraverts can generally think quickly on their feet, introverts often need more work beforehand to have the key points at their fingertips.

The downside is this takes time. The upside is, whatever the outcome, the time invested means you are able to talk about yourself, your experience and your results positively, clearly and confidently. It’s important to strike a balance between productive preparation and over-doing it. As Kahnweiler points out, ‘The right amount of preparation sets you apart. Too much preparation, however, can kill your confidence.’ (p. 69)

introvert recruitment
Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

Preparation strategies

Preparation strategies that I have found useful for recruitment situations include:

1 Develop a bank of case-studies of achievements:

Over time, I’ve worked to capture each of my key achievements, unpacking each example to describe the Situation, Task, Action and Results (STAR) and the skills used to achieve the outcome. This resource provides useful templates and prompts for you to do the same, with a focus on action verbs to present yourself in the best light. It’s useful to map the stories you create against any specific, critical selection criteria. Once you have these examples, ‘plug and play’ them in response to questions posed in writing or at interview.

2 Be able to articulate the skills you have used over time

People sometimes have trouble talking about the specific skills they have used in practical situations. Having the language to describe the competencies, skills, knowledge and experience applied, for example, in areas like ‘strategic agility’ or ‘business acumen’, can be a powerful tool. The book, FYI® for your improvement, based on the Korn Ferry Leadership Architect™ Global Competency Framework (formerly Lominger) is a useful guide for talking about skills in language that connects. Whatever resource you use, ensure you can talk about competencies and skills using words that clearly communicate your understanding and what you have achieved.

3 Practice

Use your writing skills and other strengths to prepare, and when you know you need to perform, it’s time to practice. Don’t fight the need to shine. Practice talking about yourself using the examples developed. Hearing yourself talk out loud about yourself is one of the best ways to prepare for the situation of actually doing it, as uncomfortable as it might be.

Writing Skills

Writing is often a preferred communication method for introverts, with a preference for email over phone contact and written strategic approaches over verbal ones. Your role in writing a recruitment application of any type is to make a persuasive case for selecting you. The first step in any recruitment process is usually in writing, whether it be a written job application or an online profile. Ensure your written communication presents you in the best light and showcases your skills.

You can use your strength in writing in the following ways:

  • Be outcomes focused: Be succinct, on point and emphasize the outcomes you have achieved.
  • Use data and numbers to make your case: Use figures to show outcomes such as percentage change year on year or financial figures to show scale, impact and results.
  • Be creative in how you write: Kahnweiler suggests including infographics, visuals, charts, bullet point and other graphic elements.
introvert recruitment
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Other quiet influencing strategies:

The other strategies outlined in Quiet Influence can also be used to great effect and in combination with each other. For example:

  • Taking quiet time to reflect on your skills is one of the most valuable things you can do to mine the gold from your experience.
  • Engaged listening will help you perform in face to face situations as you concentrate on what is being looked for. This will help you respond with the best examples and competencies from your experience.
  • Focused conversation is what interviews are all about and something that introverts are naturally good at. Shift your mindset to seeing any face to face interaction as a situation where you can listen well and dig deep to provide quality responses.
  • Use social media and ensure your profile is professional on online platforms so you are noticed. Actively engage with social media to connect with potential employers. Follow industry experts and organisations of interest to increase your knowledge and profile.

Who can help you?

Seek support as you go through the recruitment process through coaches, mentors or trusted colleagues who can provide feedback and help you practice. You don’t need to do it all alone, even though that may be your natural preference. Asking someone to give feedback or take your through your paces in an interview situation will help immensely for the real thing.

Book a call with me to chat ways to work through any confusion you might be feeling and work out how to rebuild. The first call is free and we can work out the best next steps for you in that call.

What if I’m not successful?

If you’re not successful, seek feedback and learn from the experience. Identify where you can take action to improve your chances. See each recruitment process as a valuable learning experience. Whatever, the outcome, take heart and learn so you can present yourself confidently for new opportunities.

Do I need to act like an extravert?

Susan Cain in her book Quiet describes the ‘Extrovert Ideal’ as:

…the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight.” (p4)

Cain advises introverts not to embrace the Extrovert Ideal as we can lose the very characteristics that make us unique. The contributions we can make are often because of the strengths and gifts of introversion.

Through learning to prepare, write strategically, listen intently and use social media thoughtfully, you will enhance your opportunity to be seen. When called on to perform in an interview, provide a presentation or solve problems, you will shine all the more if you have prepared from the foundation of your natural abilities.

The most powerful action we can take is to embrace our introvert strengths and present ourselves in the strongest light to achieve our goals. As Steven Pressfield says in The War of Art: “Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.” I wish you every success in your recruitment learnings and journey.

Author note

This post was originally a guest post for recruitment agency WorkSearch and published on their site in 2017. As their site is no longer live, it is reproduced here with minor amendments to reflect current times. Thanks to Bree Rackley for social media and guest posting support for the initial guest posting.

I hope these insights are helpful in making the most of recruitment opportunities as an introvert. Reach out to me for coaching if you need support at any time.

Warmest wishes

Terri

About the author

Terri Connellan

Terri Connellan is a certified life coach, author and accredited psychological type practitioner. She has a Master of Arts in Language and Literacy, two teaching qualifications and a successful 30-year career as a teacher and a leader in adult vocational education. Her coaching and writing focus on three elements—creativity, personality and self-leadership—especially for women in transition to a life with deeper purpose. Terri works with women globally through her creative business, Quiet Writing, encouraging deeper self-understanding of body of work, creativity and psychological type for more wholehearted and fulfilling lives. Her book Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition  and the accompanying Wholehearted Companion Workbook were published in September 2021 by the kind press. She lives and writes in the outskirts of Sydney surrounded by beach and bush.

Book your Self-leadership Discovery Call with Terri here.

Explore your personality further in Personality Stories Coaching.

Read Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition

Want to learn more about personality, creativity and self-leadership for positive transition to the life you desire?

Head over to read about my book Wholehearted and the accompanying Companion Workbook now.

Available in paperback and ebook from retailers listed here:

Wholehearted

Companion Workbook

Further related reading on Quiet Writing:

self-leadership + leadership

Self-leadership as the most authentic heart of leadership

January 12, 2021
self-leadership

A review of Lead Yourself First: Inspiring Leadership Through Solitude, Raymond M Kethledge and Michael S. Erwin, Bloomsbury Publishing, 2017.

Leading yourself first, self-leadership and solitude in leadership

The value of solitude is a critical but often overlooked component of leadership success. Finding quiet space in leadership roles is challenging and even more so with the expectations of constant connectivity.

‘Lead Yourself First: Inspiring Leadership Through Solitude’, by Raymond M Kethledge and Michael S Erwin, focuses on solitude as an essential practice for effective, high level leadership. Its central thesis is that to lead effectively, you must practise self-leadership and lead yourself first.

Leadership as a quiet journey

My own journey as a leader has a search for solitude as a central piece. When I was invited to speak to a group of emerging leaders, I chose as my topic ‘Leadership: a quiet journey’. I spoke about what I’d learned from my leadership experiences as an INTJ and introvert at the extreme of the spectrum. In this, I drew on learning and evidence from Quiet by Susan Cain and Quiet Influence by Jennifer Kahnweiler.

From experience, I had come to understand the value of making space and time in my day for deep, focused thought.  I realised that my skill in writing was just as effective a leadership strategy as speaking, if not moreso. I had learnt most about leadership when I had no direct line management of people and it was all about self-leadership.

Being quiet, writing, reading books and seeking solitude felt like a curious thing to be talking about in terms of leadership. My discomfort made me realise that my experience was not a subject that was commonly talked about.

The challenges of finding solitude in leadership

Whilst those who are naturally quiet will likely be seeking solitude spaces in their leadership days, the challenges working against it are increasing. The impact of technology and the expectations of always being available make closing the door, going for a walk or putting an hour aside to think all hard things to justify.  Technology and social media contexts create another layer for leaders as they work through the sheer amount of information and people-contact generated. It also promotes the perception of being contactable across all levels of the organisation.

The reality is that, now more than ever, all people regardless of their personality preferences, need to create the space for deep thought and reflection to enable high-level leadership practices. We need the discipline to unplug and connect with ourselves and the larger vision and purpose of our work. We need to be aware of what we are losing by not making this space in our days.

Solitude, self-leadership and leadership qualities

With ‘Lead Yourself First’, Kethledge and Erwin build on the work of Susan Cain and others, extending the context of valuing quiet strengths into the critical difference that practising self-leadership and solitude in leadership can make for all personality types.

Through research, case-studies and interviews with inspiring leaders, the authors make a strong case for establishing the discipline of leadership solitude. They create a space where leadership and solitude can be talked about together more comfortably. In addition, they provide a qualitative evidence base for this.  Most importantly, they provide practical strategies for creating solitude to enable strong self-leadership and through this, the effective leadership of others.

Kethledge and Erwin focus on four leadership qualities that solitude enhances:

  1. clarity
  2. creativity
  3. emotional balance and
  4. moral courage.

Their analysis of each of these qualities is through stories of how leaders have accessed solitude. For example, you can find clarity through both analytical clarity and intuition as shown in contrasting case studies of how Dwight Eisenhower and Jane Goodall honed their leadership skills in different contexts.  

The discipline and practice of solitude

According to Kethledge and Erwin, you can develop the discipline of developing a practice of quiet leadership solitude in two key ways. Firstly, building ‘pockets of solitude’ into your life in a systematic way and secondly, maximising any unexpected solitude opportunities.

These two disciplines weave through the case study and interview stories. Leaders create spaces of self-leadership and solitude in their lives in many ways. These include: running, swimming, walking, writing, tractor driving, reading, going to church and driving. Taking the Viktor Frankl maxim that there is a space between every stimulus and response, the leaders describe how they consistently create and commit to this space to develop considered responses.

Co-author and extrovert Michael Erwin, in his leadership role as an Intelligence Officer in combat zones, regularly went for long runs in 100 plus degree heat in the desert to clear his head and focus on his leadership decisions. Winston Churchill laid bricks as a way of creating a ‘personal bubble of quiet’.

The ability to recognise and make use of unexpected opportunities for solitude is also an art to practice. Events like unexpected life changes, flight delays and cancelled appointments are all potential opportunities for solitude and quiet work. The pandemic environment of covid has created more quiet, alone and creative time for some people with unexpected opportunities of working from home.

Photo by Toni Reed on Unsplash

Effective leadership solitude practice

The book describes effective leadership solitude practices through a series of case studies and interviews drawn from a range of contexts. These include military strategy, politics, education, religious and civil rights, scientific discovery and the corporate world. This is valuable for seeing the universal golden threads of solitude and self-leadership and its empowering capacities for leaders.

Examples of solitude self-leadership practice include:

Writing as clarifying reflection and strategic practice:

Thinking by writing is an underrated strategic and self-leadership skill; however, it has great power to connect thoughts and generate new perspectives. Dwight Eisenhower used the strategy of writing memos to himself as a way of clearing his mind. As he described it: ‘I’m just collecting my thoughts in a structured way.’ (p7).

Winston Churchill, a serious and committed writer, commenced his writing work at 11 pm. The practice was a way of focusing his thoughts and gaining historical perspective. The power of writing gave him the ability to speak with courage and authority as reflected in his speeches of the time.

Photo by Green Chameleon on Unsplash

Moral courage and seeing solitude as a first principle:

Brene Brown says in her interview that the biggest mistake can be seeing solitude as a luxury. She stresses the need for it as a first principle. Whilst the social pressures to resist solitude are ever present, the courage required is worth it. As Kethledge and Erwin reinforce, solitude is ‘not the reward for great leadership but the path to it.’ (p138)

Choosing to reclaim solitude in leadership

The authors encourage readers to reclaim solitude in leadership. They provide suggestions for practical change for creating leadership solitude in contemporary times. The first and most encompassing is to reset the explicit expectations around how you plan to work differently.

Strategies include: identifying a certain number of ‘no meeting’ days a month; setting aside time to think as an identified part of the day; setting a policy of no email communication over the weekend; and more explicitly talking about the need for solitude in the workplace.

Finding physical solitude havens such as the workplace library or other quiet locations is a suggested strategy. Working from home is an option we can all hopefully explore more in current times. Identifying the life activities that help achieve the leadership qualities needed is also highlighted. This includes meditation for emotional balance, journal writing for clarity or movement for mental stillness.

Like the feelings I experienced in speaking to emerging leaders about my quiet leadership journey, we may initially feel uncomfortable in talking about solitude practices or acting on them. They may be challenging for others or we may risk being seen as non-conformist. The authors highlight that the greater consequence is a loss of priorities as we drown in lack of focus.

Contribution to solitude in leadership

‘Lead Yourself First’ is a valuable contribution to the field of leadership and to the subject of quiet influence. Susan Cain’s book, Quiet, helped make being an introvert easier to understand and talk about. I hope this book makes it easier for leaders to carve solitude into their days and to speak about it.

The experience of reading this book was, in itself, one of intense reflective solitude on my own practices. It is one I encourage you to engage in also to consider your own self-leadership practices whether you are a leader or not. I hope this book leads to people focusing on the higher purposes of leadership and to practising self-leadership, in contrast to the moment to moment response to the latest email or crisis.

As David Whyte reminds us in Crossing the Unknown Sea: Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity:

‘Our bodies and our personalities are vessels, and leadership, like captaincy, is a full inhabitation of the vessel.’

We can all only benefit from that fuller inhabitation that such moments of solitude and self-leadership provide.

Author note

This post was originally a guest post for WorkSearch published on their site in 2017. As their site is no longer live, it is reproduced here with amendments to reflect current times. Thanks to Bree Rackley for social media and guest posting support for the initial guest posting.

It’s fascinating how this post written a few years ago now resonates so strongly as many deal with increased solitude and quiet away from workplace environments. I hope these insights are helpful to see the opportunities for solitude and self-leadership where we can in challenging times.

Warmest wishes

Terri

About the author

Terri Connellan

Terri Connellan is a Sydney-based certified life coach, author and psychological type practitioner accredited in the Majors Personality Type Inventory™ and Majors PT-Elements™. She has a Master of Arts in Language and Literacy, two teaching qualifications and a successful 30-year career as a teacher of reading and writing and a leader in adult vocational education. Her coaching and writing focus on three elements—creativity, personality and self-leadership—especially for women in transition to a life with deeper purpose. Terri works with women globally through her creative business, Quiet Writing, encouraging deeper self-understanding of body of work, creativity and psychological type for more wholehearted and fulfilling lives. Her book ‘Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition’ will be published in 2021 by the kind press.

Book your Self-leadership Discovery Call with Terri here.

Further related reading on Quiet Writing:

introversion personality and story

Quiet in my life – how learning the value of quiet made all the difference

September 25, 2018

quiet in my life

As part of the #quietwriting hashtag and Instagram Challenge, we shift now to looking at the value of quiet in my life and yours.

Use the #quietwriting hashtag across platforms – for the challenge and beyond – as a way to create, connect and link us together on our ongoing journey to draft, process, create, make space for writing and other creativity and otherwise live a wholehearted creative life. Read on to discover more and connect with creative others about the value of quiet.

Quiet in my life

When I was thinking of prompts for the #quietwriting challenge, it wasn’t long before the word ‘quiet’ popped up.

Why? There’s no surprise that quiet is a value I hold very dear as a writer, an introvert and an INTJ in Jung/Myers-Briggs personality type. You only have to look at my business and website name to see that!

For the challenge, I’ve chosen to share an image of two books that made a huge difference in my life:

  • Quiet by Susan Cain
  • Quiet Influence by Jennifer Kahnweiler

I’ve written about both books in more detail in my free e-book, 36 Books that Shaped my Story.

The first time I understood my need for quiet in a deeper way was when I worked on assessing my psychological type with a coach. My coach said to me, asking about work contexts as a leader, “Do you close your door?” It was a light bulb moment that helped me to value my need to close the door occasionally, get quiet and regroup. It was okay to do it and it was something I needed to do.

That insight and conversation was the beginning of a deeper journey into understanding my introverted intuitive nature and its needs. These two books helped me immensely in that journey.

quiet in my life

Quiet in my life as a leader

I read these two books on quiet and introvert strengths when I was a leader in the adult vocational education sector. My role involved leading many people, up to 3,000 staff and with responsibility for tens of thousands of students and their learning environment and programs. I often had to speak to large groups. Tough negotiations and meetings were commonplace. I also worked in the political arena, advising our state Minister for Education in an environment that was mostly anything but quiet or relaxed.

These books, furthering my knowledge of my INTJ personality type, helped me to understand the value and strengths of being a quiet worker and leader. Skills like the ability to listen deeply, read widely, prepare and research well, ask valuable questions and use writing as a strategic skill. You  need to learn how to deploy these skills and use them to effect in different ways. Not comparing yourself to extraverted others helps. Being able to understand and marshal your strengths is a powerhouse of knowledge and skill you can quietly own and use. Jennifer Kahnweiler’s book particularly helped me understand key six skills of quiet influence and recognise my strengths in this space. Writing is one of these and my superpower that I use in many ways to enact quiet in my life and its influence.

quiet in my life

Quiet in your life

How about you? Think about roles you have been in and where you have learnt the value of quiet in your life. As an introvert, you might need to learn to work differently and honour what is natural rather than see it as a weakness. Extraverts might need to learn to carve out space in their lives for quiet because it’s not always a natural preference.

  • Were you a quieter person growing up? How did it make you feel?
  • How do you make space for quiet in your life now?
  • What does quiet look like in your life?
  • How does quiet play out in your relationships, between the extraverts and introverts in your life?
  • Did you feel different if you were a quiet person at home or at work?
  • What did you do about this? Do you understand it?
  • If you were not the quiet person, did you find it challenging to make space for quiet in your life?
  • What helps you quieten?
  • Which practices at work or in your creativity help you to harness the power of quiet?

Love to hear your thoughts and see any images on Instagram – just use the hashtag #quietwriting for the challenge or anytime so we can connect with you. Or share your thoughts in the comments or on Facebook.

quiet in my life

Understanding your personality

If you’d like to work more on understanding our personality, I’ll be rolling out my offerings in the personality space in mid October. It’s not just about introvert and extrovert aspects though these are important. You learn about your preferences around sensing and intuition; thinking and feeling; and perceiving and judging as well.

The Personality Stories package includes:

  • personality type assessment online
  • an online course on personality preferences so you can understand your type
  • a coaching package to work on deep-diving into the wholehearted story of your personality.
  • a Quiet Writing personality type summary, and
  • email support for two weeks after.

Personality Stories coaching package

Here’s the detail of the coaching package. You receive:

  1. Personality assessment online: Complete the Majors Personality Type Inventory (MajorsPTI™) online assessment. This helps you to begin to identify your Jung/Myers-Briggs 4-letter personality type.
  2. Self-paced online course on personality type: Working through the self-paced Personality Stories ecourse. It takes about 3 hours (max) to complete this short online course. I hope you will find it fascinating learning about Carl Jung, his followers and their rich work on personality type.
  3. Coaching debrief to work through your results: Once you complete the ecourse, we have a 90 minute 1:1 face to face coaching session via Zoom to debrief your results. You receive your Majors Personality Type assessment report, and the four letter code arrived at, in this session. The coaching debrief focuses on checking that your assessment result is your true or best-fit Type and discussing your results. We work through any questions and set inspiring goals and actions to take this knowledge forward and embed it in your life.
  4. Quiet Writing summary: Once your true personality type is confirmed from the coaching session, you will receive a Quiet Writing summary of the key aspects of your personality type to take forward. This includes links to further reading, tarot connections and suggestions for managing stress and fostering creativity in your life.
  5. Email contact for 2 weeks after to follow up on any questions and learnings.

The investment for this package is priced at $350AU as a special ‘first release’ price. Just let me know via email at terri@quietwriting.com if you are interested in being included in the first limited October enrolment.

Quiet connections via #quietwriting

So I welcome your comments here or on social media. I look forward to seeing #quietwriting images that share thoughts and open up dialogue on quiet in your life. Just share an image on Instagram using the tag #quietwriting and follow the prompts each day for ideas. Here are the prompts:

#quietwriting

And the #quietwriting hashtag will continue beyond the week of the challenge, so use it anytime to create and connect. You can learn more here about #quietwriting

Just a reminder of the key points:

  • Quiet Writing is about the strength that comes from working steadily and without fanfare in writing and other spheres to create, coalesce, influence and connect.
  • Hashtags are such a fabulous way to gather, finding our creative kindred souls and inspiration online.
  • On Instagram, you can now follow hashtags as well as individual profiles. So follow #quietwriting now and into the future to connect around creativity and your quiet work, writing and making art.
  • You can head on over to the #quietwriting hashtag on Instagram or Facebook or other social media anytime and see what’s popping up. 
  • You could also post on your own profile on Facebook as well using the hashtag.
  • Often we write quietly, behind closed doors or in busy cafes, privately. Let’s shine a light behind the scenes and capture the process of writing and creativity in action, wherever we are.

Get on board with #quietwriting + the hashtag challenge!

These are just some ideas and they will evolve as we all contribute. It doesn’t have to be all about writing – it can be any form of creativity. Nor do you need to be an introvert; all of us need quiet writing time to get creative work done.

I’ll feature my favourite images from the tag here and on Instagram and Facebook so share your images for the chance to be featured!

So join the #quietwriting party and let us know what you are up to! Who knows what creative connections you might make to support you on your journey or inspire your next creation?

Welcome your comments and images to inspire and connect our creativity online from the quiet in my life and yours!

quiet in my life

Keep in touch & free ebook on the ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You can work with me to help reset your creativity and wholehearted self-leadership. Free 30-45 minute coaching consults chats are available so please get in touch at terri@quietwriting.com to talk further. I’d love to be a guide to help you create with spirit and heart in your own unique way. Consults available now for an October coaching start!

You can download my free 94-page ebook on th36 Books that Shaped my Story – just sign up with your email address in the box to the right or below You will also receive updates from Quiet Writing and its passions. This includes personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot and other connections to help express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community.

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

You might also enjoy:

#quietwriting – growing creative community and connection

Shining a quiet light – working the gifts of introversion

How to be more aware of cognitive diversity in the workplace

Personality skills including how to be the best you can be as an introvert in recruitment

Introverted and extraverted intuition – how to make intuition a strong practice

inspiration & influence introversion personality and story

How to make the best of introvert strengths in an extraverted world

July 22, 2017

 

introvert

I am an introvert, an INTJ in the Myers Briggs Type Indicator world and basically off the dial on introversion. Yet I have balanced this with a job that involves a huge amount of people interaction, talking in front of groups, leading and participating in many meetings with complex interactions. As a result, it’s not easy to make time to charge my batteries through time alone, even though it’s something I desperately need.

Learning to successfully negotiate this balance is an ongoing journey and finding the time for recharge is a challenge. I’m interested in working my introvert side, understanding its strengths and weaknesses, capitalising on it, identifying what I can bring to a situation. I want to make the best of my introvert abilities and work them rather than have them working, and sometimes exhausting, me.

Here are some key inspirations and influences on understanding your introvert strengths in the work sphere for greater impact and positive outcomes.

Leveraging the advantages of being an introvert at work – Penelope Trunk

This article from Penelope Trunk discusses how the world of work rewards and is basically set up around the needs of extraverts. Her article provides a balance to this by offering some tips for leveraging the advantages of introverts. These tips include:

  • working from the world of ideas
  • giving full attentiveness for a short, concentrated time
  • improving your self-knowledge of your type
  • teaching other people how best to interact with you as an introvert, and
  • learning about the job roles that would best suit you.

There are also some excellent references for further reading embedded in this insightful article.

Caring for your introvert – Jonathan Rauch

This classic 2003 article from The Atlantic is about understanding the orientations and needs of introverts. It looks at some common myths or assumptions about introverts and provides a balanced point of view. The article takes the perspective that introverts are misunderstood and dogged by stereotypes such as being shy. Rauch corrects this one by saying that “introverts are people who find other people tiring.”

Rauch has some good pointers for balancing time with people and finding time to charge again. His answers to a scan of issues about introverts (are they misunderstood? are they oppressed? what are the implications of extraverts dominating public life?) provide useful perspectives for introverts seeking to find points of strength and balance. I especially love the distinction between introverts who typically ‘think before talking’ vs extraverts who typically ‘think by talking’.

Top ten myths about introverts – Carl King

This article lists Carl’s top ten myths about introverts, in a similar vein and drawing on the book ‘The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World’ by Marti Olsen-Laney.  It captures these myths in a pithy way I could instantly recognise. The article concludes:

‘It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in order to get along in an Extrovert-Dominant World.’

Suggestions for managing this include: understanding the myths, linking in with other introverts for support and the need for extroverts to respect the ways of introverts.

Extroverts, introverts, aspies and codies – Venkatesh (Venkat) Rao

This article is a fascinating summary of introvert and extravert issues but takes a step further into the realm of microeconomicss, transactions and social psychology. The article explores energy in the exchange from the introvert and extravert point of view. It also reviews:

  • how introverts and extraverts manage isolation vs physical contact
  • 1:1 encounters and their depth
  • weak-link social fields such as coffee shops
  • strong-link social fields such as family gatherings
  • relationships over time and relationships with strangers.

Venkat also looks at how the tension between extraverts and introverts plays out in the slang terms they use or might use for each other. For example, ‘aspies’ (a term used by extraverts for introverts and linked to Asberger’s Syndrome) and ‘codie’s ( a possible term as none exists and linked to co-dependency). Venkat concludes by saying that introversion is becoming far more visible, resulting in shifts in the landscape of social psychology.

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking – Susan Cain

The publication of  Quiet in 2012 was a significant milestone in the landscape of literature about introvert strengths and how to work them. This book changed my life as I read page after page of narrative that explained so clearly the way I operated in the world. Backed by extensive evidence, cutting edge research, neuroscience and stories of real people, ‘Quiet’ helped me make sense of so much. As a result, I better understood myself and especially my unique powers of negotiation and leadership. The practical strategies exemplified assisted me to work my specific strengths and also manage my energy far more effectively.

These strengths include:

  • thorough and detailed preparation
  • asking the right questions at the right time
  • active listening
  • ability to focus intensely and be in flow
  • working more slowly, carefully and deliberately
  • the ability to take strong positions and come across calmly and with reason

introverts

Quiet Influence: The Introvert’s Guide to Making a Difference by Jennifer B. Kahnweiler

Jennifer Kahnweiler’s Quiet Influence was another game changer for me in understanding how you can have influence in quiet ways. It provides a response to the problem often experienced by introverts: “In every performance review, I’m told I need to speak up more.” I’ve experienced this and I knew it wasn’t the problem or the solution! This book helped me realise that I had strengths – quieter strengths – that I needed to recognise as such and deploy more effectively.

These influence strategies for making a quiet difference include:

  • taking quiet time
  • preparation
  • engaged listening
  • focused conversations
  • writing
  • thoughtful use of social media

Learning how to use these strategies more effectively made an enormous difference to my impact and influence. I felt better about myself as I was more in flow with my natural energies rather than trying to be more extraverted. Quiet influence is a far more empowering and instinctive place from which to work.

Unpack your introvert strengths

I was fascinated to read in Penelope Trunk’s article above that my type, INTJ, has the longest Wikipedia page:

‘Because the combination of being an introvert and being ideas-driven makes one very interested in learning about oneself. INTJ’s are an extreme case, but all introverts have this combination to some extent, and the self-knowledge will help you put yourself in situations where you’ll have the most positive impact.’

It’s true, I am an extreme case and this summary is a piece of evidence testifying to that, an addition to the INTJ genre. True to type,  I can’t tell you how energising I found the experience of researching and writing it.

But for everyone, self-knowledge helps you make the most of your natural strengths. I hope this article is useful in identifying and unpacking your strengths and working your introvert. Or that it helps in the all important perspective of better understanding the ways of those around you.

How do you work your introvert? I’d love to hear!

Note: This post was originally published on my blog Transcending in 2011 as ‘Working your Introvert’. It’s updated in July 2017 to reflect key additional influences since that time.

Feature image via pexels.com and used with permission and thanks.

introverts

Keep in touch

Subscribe via email (see the link at the top and below) to make sure you receive updates from Quiet Writing and its passions in 2017. This includes MBTI developments, coaching, creativity and other connections to help express your unique voice in the world. My free e-book on the books that have shaped my story is coming soon for subscribers only – so sign up to be the first to receive it!

Quiet Writing is on Facebook – Please visit here and ‘Like’ to keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. There are regular posts on intuition, influence, creativity, productivity, writing, voice, introversion and personality including Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

You might also enjoy:

Shining a quiet light – working the gifts of introversion

Being a vessel – or working with Introverted Intuition

How knowing your authentic heart can make you shine

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